


In Any Other World

by DaniWib



Category: Alex Rider (TV 2020), Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Australia, COVID19, Fluff, Game: Call of Duty, Gen, Isolation, It's AU cos they meet each other but I don't know how to tag that, Pre-Infinity War, Pre-Scorpia Rising, Queensland, lockdown - Freeform, mcu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27730693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniWib/pseuds/DaniWib
Summary: What do a reluctant teenage spy and a teenage superhero do when a worldwide pandemic hits and traps them together in another country?This story is inspired by the events Covid19 pandemic of 2020.For Alex Rider, it’s set after Crocodile Tears but before Scorpia Rising.For Peter Parker, it’s set after Spiderman Homecoming but before Avengers Infinity War. Yes I know the dates don’t really match up, just go with it ok?They are both 16 in this story.Oh, and Yassen Gregorovich isn’t dead.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Alex Rider
Comments: 46
Kudos: 50





	1. The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry – Robert Burns

Alex Rider had just finished a mission in Sydney, Australia, helping out the ASIS with an underground drug syndicate operating in a private Sydney boys grammar school. Once again Alex had gone undercover as a high school student, identified the boys in charge of the operation and the adults outside the school supplying them, gotten the evidence needed to convict them and busted the drug gang wide open. Pretty standard mission really, no-one had even tried to kill him this time. He was starting to get a bit bored with the whole “Let’s send Alex to another school” scenario though, it was getting a bit old.

Alex was preparing to leave and fly home to London when Australia closed its borders in response to the global Covid-19 pandemic.

“What?” Alex muttered to himself, as he tried to complete the online check in for his flight from his hotel room. “What the hell is going on?” A pop up advised him that his flight had been cancelled, so he was trying to book another one. The airline’s website showed line after line of cancelled flights, with no outgoing flights at all. “For fuck’s sake, I just wanna go home.” He grumbled to himself, thinking of alternatives and trying different airports nearby. _What? Nothing there either? What the fuck is going on in this place?_

Realising that something bigger must be happening, Alex gave up on airlines and decided to read some news to see what was going on.

 **“Corona Virus cases escalate worldwide”**

**“Global Pandemic Announced”**

**“Australia closes borders”**

**“Britain on Lockdown”**

Every news site was the same, screaming hysterically about some virus that was apparently all around the world. How had he managed to miss this? Alex wondered. Sure, he’d been focused on his work for the last few weeks, and sure, he never really stayed up to date with current affairs much while on a mission, but surely he should have noticed something? Apparently not. He decided to give MI6 a call and see what he should do.

Feeling even more frustrated when his call went to a message service rather than being answered (Alex had forgotten that even though it was mid-afternoon where he was, it was 4am in London), Alex wished he had more than the generic office number for MI6. He had no guaranteed way of contacting anyone immediately should he require assistance. As usual, he was on his own.

Shooting off some emails to Mrs Jones, Jack and Tom, he decided to Netflix and chill in his hotel room for a while, as he waited for some guidance from the powers that be as to what he was supposed to do now.

Later that day, Alex received emails from Jack and Tom.

_“Alex, Mrs Jones has said you’ll have to stay in Australia for a while. I’m trying to work out a way to either get you home or come to you but things are really weird right now. Have you seen the news? Everything is closing down. She said you’re going to be in Queensland staying with someone, I’m glad you won’t be alone. People are panic buying at the shops here and lots of basic food stuff is disappearing off the shelves. Make sure you go grocery shopping as soon as you get to where you’re staying so you have what you need. I hope this other agent knows how to cook. Email me as soon as you get there ok? Love, Jack.” ___

__

_“Mate, schools are closed, it’s awesome! Where are you? I’m stuck at home with my parents who’re off work. Mum says this will be a great bonding experience and we can finally do all the things we’ve never had time for, like a Monopoly marathon. God save us all. – Tom”_

Another from Mrs Jones landed in his inbox that night. _“Alex, I’m sorry to confirm that Australia has closed their borders and grounded all flights. No-one is getting in or out for the foreseeable future. Since it looks like you’re going to be stuck there for a while, we’ve decided to put you up with an American operative who’s also stuck in Australia. He’s up in Queensland, so we’ve booked you a morning flight to Brisbane. He’s already got a 2 bedroom flat and the American’s have approved you staying with him. It will give you some company with someone with similar experience while you wait this out. He’s got the same clearance level as you so you can talk to him about your experiences. We’re sorting out an extended Visa for you as well. We’ll be in touch as soon as we’ve got it all sorted, until then just stay put. Jones” ___

__

___Hmmm_ , Alex thought. _Sounds like I’m getting an unscheduled holiday, and in Australia! There could be worse places to get stuck in a pandemic. I don’t know about this other agent though, not sure I want to live with someone like that CIA ass Tom Turner. God, what a nightmare that would be. I guess I’ll see what he’s like and then decide whether I’ll stay with him or not. I can always get a place on my own if I have to.__ _

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____Knock knock knock. _Alex rapped on the apartment door somewhat nervously. He’d arrived in Brisbane and made his way to the address he was given, a tall building in the centre of the city. When no-one answered the door, he knocked again, a little harder and longer this time. Still no answer. Getting impatient, Alex pounded on the door and kept pounding until it abruptly opened in front of him, causing him to almost thump the guy opening it in the face. Almost, that is, except the guy caught his descending fist and held it there, seemingly effortlessly.__ _ _ _

____

___“Hey jeez, what’s the rush man?” a teenager standing in front of him grumbled. “You woke me up with all your yammering!” as he belatedly released Alex’s arm. “Oh, sorry about that dude, just didn’t want you to hit me, you know?”_ _ _

____

___Staring with confusion at the boy in front of him, Alex apologised “Sorry, I think I must have the wrong apartment. I’m looking for Mr Parker.”  
“Ha! Yeah sure, Mr Parker, that’s me. Call me Peter though. Are you Alex?”_ _ _

____

___“Uhh, yeah. Sorry I woke you up. It’s 10.30am, I didn’t think anyone would still be asleep. So you….. you’re Peter Parker? Really?” Alex was still very confused. The boy standing in front of him, wearing only boxer shorts beneath an impressively muscled torso, seemed to be his own age. He did have an American accent, but his rumpled, unkempt appearance did not in any way say “CIA Agent”.  
“Oh, yeah. Well, you know, late night, nothing to do, nowhere to go, so I slept in. It’s been really boring stuck here by myself, it’ll be good to have someone to hang out with. And you look like you’re my age! Aren’t you like, some super spy dude or something? Man, I gotta say, you look pretty young for that.” Peter grinned as he babbled at Alex. It’d been a long few days cooped up all by himself here, he was glad to have some company at last._ _ _

____

_____ _

____

Uncomfortable with discussing sensitive information right out in the hallway with a complete stranger, Alex just raised his eyebrows and stared at Peter. “Same back at you. Aren’t you a little young to be a CIA Agent? And can I come in or what?”

____

___Peter burst into laughter as he ushered Alex inside. “Oh I’m not a CIA agent! Is that what they told you? That’s hilarious! Nah, I’m… well, it’s a bit complicated actually. They told me you have the same level of classification as me and that I can tell you stuff, but it’s a bit weird right, just telling someone you’ve just met all your secrets? Maybe we can have breakfast first, what do you think?”_ _ _

____

Following Peter inside, Alex saw two rooms opening up on either side of a narrow hallway leading into a small, open plan living area, with a kitchenette bench running along one wall. He guessed the doorway on the other side of the room was probably the bathroom. The place was tiny, and messy. Clothes were strewn all over, empty take away containers on the bench and towels scattered over the back of the small, two seater couch. One bedroom was unused, the other, clearly Peter’s room, was in an even worse state than the rest of the apartment. It also smelt…. well, musty was putting it nicely.

____

_____ _

____

Throwing his bag through the door onto his bed, Alex crossed the living space and opened the doors onto the small balcony outside. The fresh air immediately improved things inside and he turned to find Peter staring sheepishly at him.

____

___“Sorry dude, my bad. I didn’t know what time you were getting here or I would have tidied up a little. I’ve been kind of lazy, being here by myself. Ok, let’s see what we’ve got here.” he continued, opening up random cupboard doors in the kitchen bench. “We have, ummm. Some cereal, ooops, no that’s empty, umm, I think I have some bread somewhere. Nope, all gone. Oh no milk either. I’ve been mostly eating take out, I don’t really know how to cook much. Do you? Know how to cook anything?” Peter turned back to Alex, giving up the search for food. “Let’s go out, I know a great place just down the street. Are you hungry?”  
“Always!” Alex grinned. “But maybe we should do some shopping? Jack says they’re panic buying everything in the shops back home, and we should probably get supplies while we still can.”_ _ _

____

___"Oh sure dude, yeah that’s a great idea. Mr Stark gave me an expense account to use while I’m stuck here, I didn’t think about getting groceries with it, I just got a Playstation and an Xbox and some games to play! Who’s Jack?” Peter didn’t wait for an answer, but raced off to get dressed while Alex started tidying up the empty food containers and taking them out to the rubbish chute.  
Peter had no idea where a larger supermarket was so they googled it on their phones and set off. Comparing cooking skills as they walked, they worked out that Alex could cook sausages and mash, and eggs & toast, and that Peter could cook oven food – pizza, frozen fish and chips, pies and toasted sandwiches. Luckily their unit had a fridge, oven with stove top and microwave._ _ _

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Arriving at the local Woolworths, they were confronted with a line of stressed looking people waiting their turn to go inside. They joined the line and read the signs stating what the limits were on items.  
“Wow, I had no idea things were getting this bad, did you?” Peter asked Alex. “No, I didn’t either. This is crazy. We’d better get a bit of everything. Can you cook pasta, or rice?” Alex replied. “I never have but how hard can it be?!” Peter grinned back at him. “Our turn, let’s go!”

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____

Two teenage boys loose in a supermarket with an expense account and empty stomachs was never going to end well. Alex overruled Peter’s wish to fill the trolley with chips and chocolate, reminding him of how small their kitchenette was. “Let’s just concentrate on actual food for starters ok? Snacks can come after.” Alex was also the one who grabbed bags when they were at the checkout.

____

___“Dude, how do you know this stuff?” Peter asked, impressed with their haul of meat, bread, eggs, pasta, rice, juice and milk. Alex had even got fruit and vegetables. “Jack and I share the jobs at home, doing the groceries, doing the cleaning, you know, just ordinary stuff.” Alex replied. “She’s not the best at cooking but we get by.”  
“Is she your Mother? Do you call your Mother Jack?” Peter quizzed him._  
“No, she’s my housekeeper, it’s, well, it’s umm, kind of hard to explain, I’ll tell you when we get back to the flat.” _And then you can tell me your story then too_ , Alex thought to himself. _Are you in the same situation as me? Did the CIA get their own teenage spy after meeting me last year?_ _Are you being forced into it too?_ he wondered.  
“Great, let’s go, I’m starving!” grinned Peter happily. “Man, it’s going to be so good having you here.”_ _

____

Later that afternoon, the pair were lounging in the living area. Peter had tidied up his mess while Alex unpacked the groceries and found places for most of the food. They’d ended up going a bit overboard with snacks and the cupboards were stuffed, with extras on the benchtop. Alex had made toasted sandwiches for his lunch and Peter’s breakfast, and watched in amazement as Peter ate 6 of them.

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“Wow, I thought I ate a lot!” Alex joked. “Yeah, I have this high metabolism and I seriously need to eat, like, a lot. Like, more than you’d expect, all the time.” Peter replied. “It’s to do with my, umm special abilities. What did your people actually tell you about me, exactly?” Snorting, Alex rolled his eyes. “My people don’t tell me anything they don’t have to. Secret intelligence right. But they never tell me anything. They said you were an American operative with the same level of clearance as me, stuck here because of the pandemic. I guess I assumed you were a CIA agent because I’ve worked with them before and they know who I am. But you’re not, right?”

____

__Peter laughed. “No way man, nothing like that! I’m, well, I’m an Avenger. Well, sort of. In training I guess you’d say, or part time maybe. I still go to high school most of the time, I just help them out on missions and stuff when they need me. I’m 16 but Mr Stark got me an ID that says I’m 18 to make travelling here easier on my own. I came to Brisbane for the World Science Festival that was supposed to be on here this week but it got cancelled the day I arrived. Then they closed the borders before I could get a flight home and well, here I am.”_ _

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__Scratching his head, Alex wasn’t sure how to tell Peter that he had no idea what an Avenger was and decided to just ask “So, umm. What’s an Avenger? Is that like American Special Forces?”  
Freezing with his sandwich halfway to his mouth, Peter stared at Alex. “You don’t know? Where have you been the last few years?”  
Sighing, Alex just shook his head. “Let’s just say, really busy?! You tell me and I’ll tell you, ok?!”  
“Oh dude, you’re about to get your mind blown! It’s probably easiest if I just show you. Can you stay calm though? Not freak out on me?” Peter replied, with a huge grin on his face._ _

____

__“Of course I can…. what the FUCK?!” Alex yelled, leaping backwards over his chair as Peter suddenly leaped up, flipped over and up onto the – ceiling? Alex stared up with his mouth literally hanging open as Peter, in classic Spiderman pose, grinned back at him from his upside down position in the corner of the room’s ceiling. After a moment, Peter lightly dropped back down to the ground and sat back on the couch, picking up his sandwich and taking another bite.  
“So yeah, I can do that. And some other stuff. They call me Spiderman.”_ _

____

__Some time had passed while Alex calmed down. He had needed to make himself a cup of tea as his brain came to grips with a world that suddenly included people with super powers. Peter had rambled on about people with strange code names, like Iron Man, and Captain America, and someone called Happy who didn’t have any powers but seemed to be Peter’s handler, like Mrs Jones. Apparently aliens were a thing now too, how did he miss that?_ _

____

__“Ok dude, your turn. Time to spill. What’s your story?” Peter was done with waiting patiently and wanted to know. “Are you an English superhero? What do you do?”  
“Umm. Yeah, no. Well, nothing like what you do. Jeez. I just, well, I help out MI6 sometimes. Well, a lot actually. And it’s not really helping because they make me do it but I guess my Uncle wanted me to do it because he trained me in all this stuff all my life but I don’t know, he just made it all seem like fun and then he was murdered and I had to go undercover to find out who did it but I didn’t find out, well not that mission anyway, I found out later on in another mission and anyway they just keep finding ways to get me to do what they want and now I guess this is my life.” Alex blurted out.  
“What?” Peter stared at him. “So, you don’t have any superpowers, but you’re like, a spy? How old are you?”_ _

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__“I’m 16 too. I’ve been doing this since I was 14. I’ve saved the world a few times but no-one knows because I don’t officially work for MI6. Well I can’t, obviously, I’m a teenager and technically it’s illegal. But I guess I have some skills and I can get away with stuff because I’m so young, no-one expects it, you know? After my Uncle died, they threatened to deport Jack, my housekeeper, back to the USA and have me put in foster care if I didn’t do what they wanted. I would have done it anyway, I wanted to know who killed him, but they’re, well they’re not very nice people and they didn’t want to risk me saying no. And now they just keep forcing me.” Alex paused, thinking._ _

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__“This time I was in Sydney, undercover at a private boys grammar school tracking down a drug ring for the ASIS this time. It was easier than the last time I worked with the Australian’s, no-one even tried to kill me this time. Last time I was here I nearly died in a Muay Thai boxing fight, was smuggled into the country with a people smuggling ring, got caught and nearly had my organs removed by an illegal organ transplant operation and had to stop a huge bomb from blowing up inside the continental plate above Australia, where it was supposed to cause tsunami’s and wipe out most of the north-western population. “ Alex knew he was bragging a bit and probably saying too much, but he was feeling intimidated by Peter’s abilities and wanted him to know that he had stuff going for himself as well._ _

____

Now it was Peter’s turn to stare at Alex in shock. “You’ve done all of that? And you don’t even have superpowers? Holy moly, that’s amazing!”

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__“Yeah, well, no actually that was just one mission. I’ve done umm, about 8 I think? I can’t remember, I’ve lost track. I’ve worked with MI6 for about 2 years now, and they’ve loaned me out to the CIA twice and to the Australians twice now too. “  
“Wow! That’s so cool, you’re like a teenage James Bond! Awesome dude. I can see why they thought we’d get on well together. We do have a lot in common.”_ _

____

__“Yeah, we do, don’t we. So, what have you been doing since you’ve been stuck here?” Alex changed the subject, thinking that Peter might be the same age, but he seemed a lot younger, with his enthusiasm about beating the bad guys and saving people. _I don’t think he’s had to kill anyone yet, or been responsible for many deaths_ , he thought to himself. _He seems so…. happy_ knowing that he himself was decidedly not happy with the way his life had turned out._ _

____

__“I’ve pretty much been gaming and eating the whole time, that’s it. Do you play?” Peter asked as he went and turned the XBox on, tossing Alex a controller.  
Alex hadn’t had time to play for a few years now, and even when Ian was still alive he rarely had time. Between school and what he knew now was mission training, video games had never really been a priority. “I haven’t in a while, but sure, let’s give it a go. What games do you have?”  
“I love Call of Duty Black Ops, but I really suck at it. I’m trying to get better, we could play as a clan if you want?” Peter replied.  
“I haven’t played that one but sure, just give me a chance to figure it out, ok?” Alex replied, sinking into the couch next to him._ _

____

__Hours later the pair stopped when Peter’s rumbling stomach became loud enough for Alex to hear, even over the battle sounds of the game.  
“Dude, I’ve gotta eat, I just can’t concentrate anymore, I’m so hungry!” Peter complained as Alex laughed at him. “You haven’t done anything physical since you ate all those sandwiches before!”  
“Yeah but I told you, it’s my metabolism, I’ve gotta eat like, all the time!” Peter grinned back. “When did it get dark?” he wondered, looking outside.  
“Anyway, you told me that you’ve never played that game before, but you obviously have, you’re way too good at it. You’re a better shot than me!” he added in disgust.  
“Nope, never played it before,” Alex told him. “but the shooting is a lot like my weapons classes in Malagosto, just with a controller instead of actual weapons.”  
“You get to take weapons classes? That’s so cool. My team won’t let me have any real weapons yet, they say I’m too young.” Peter said in envy.  
“Ummm. Well, actually no, MI6 don’t let me have any weapons either, they say the same thing, I’m too young. Malagosto is, umm, like an assassin school, kind of? I trained there when I went rogue last year.”_ _ Peter stopped rummaging through the kitchen cupboards and turned and stared at Alex. “What? You went – rogue? What does that even mean? And, assassin school, what the heck?”

“Umm, yeah, it’s a bit complicated. Someone told me that MI6 had had my parents killed when I was a baby – my Dad was an agent too but then he joined a criminal organisation called Scorpia and apparently MI6 killed him because of it. I went to Venice to find out the truth and ended up joining their organisation and training with them for a while.  
But then it got really messy and they wanted me to kill Mrs Jones and I nearly did except I didn’t and after some other stuff happened it turns out my Dad was undercover at Scorpia and was really MI6 all along. It was Scorpia who killed them, not MI6. They killed my Uncle Ian too, the one who raised me. Oh shit, I was supposed to email Jack when I got here!” he suddenly remembered, before rushing into his room to grab his laptop, leaving Peter to stare after him while trying to digest everything Alex had just casually said.

Peter had the feeling there was a lot more to Alex Rider than it seemed. He definitely wasn’t the stodgy old English gentleman he’d half expected when Happy told him he’d be getting a roommate.

____

__3.28am. Peter came awake on the couch with a start, his spider senses tingling. _What had woken him?_ he wondered as he stayed perfectly still as he listened and thought. _He’d fallen asleep on the couch gaming again, and_ …. rough gasping next to him reminded his of his new flatmate. Alex was also asleep on the couch, and seemed to be in the grip of a vivid dream, or nightmare. He was twisting from side to side, moaning quietly and breathing quickly, the soft, occasional “No!” gasping from his lips._ _

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__Standing up and leaning over Alex, Peter reached out and touched his arm to wake him up. The reaction was nothing like he’d expected. Before he knew what had happened, Peter’s legs had been swept out from under him and he was suddenly flat on his back on the floor, Alex kneeling on his chest with one hand around his throat and the other holding – _a knife? Where the hell had that come from? Has he been holding that the whole day?_ Peter wondered in amazement. He was shocked but not scared, and amazed that through the whole move, Alex still had his eyes shut!_ _

____

__“Alex!” Peter gasped out “Wake up!” as he gently pushed Alex’s hand away. That knife was a little too close to his face for comfort. Alex’s eyes flickered open and he looked in dismay at Peter lying under him.  
“Oh my god Peter, I’m so sorry, did I hurt you?” Alex scrambled off him, bumping into the couch behind them. “Shit, I’m really sorry, I umm, I don’t respond well if I’m disturbed when I’m asleep.” he finished lamely, the knife disappearing away somewhere. “Nah, I’m not hurt, just surprised!” Peter laughed it off. “I’m a bit shocked you managed to pin me though, that doesn’t usually happen. Bad dreams?”  
“Yeah. I guess.” Alex muttered, looking away.  
Peter sat next to him on the couch again. “I get them too. Bad memories, you know?”  
Alex looked back at Peter curiously. “You do? What are yours about?”  
“Usually not being able to save someone, getting there too late, that sort of stuff. Sometimes I see my family and friends getting hurt, or worse. Sometimes, it’s me.” Peter said quietly. “It’s just, the things I do, sometimes not everything works out, and people get hurt.”  
Alex nodded, understanding completely. “Me too.” He replied. “Me too.”_ _

____

The pair stayed on the couch a while longer, neither ready to go back to sleep just yet. Each fumbling their way through the start of a new, raw friendship, getting to know someone who finally got them, someone who finally understood what being a teenager in their crazy worlds was like. Dawn was a hint on the horizon before they each wandered off to their rooms and collapsed into a more restful, peaceful sleep.

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	2. Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun – Randy Pausch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Peter gets really, really bored, and Alex finds a new obsession.

“What time is it?” Peter asks as he stumbled blearily out of his room. Alex was making coffee in the kitchen looking equally wrecked. “I don’t know. Does it matter?” he replied grumpily. “It’s not like we have to be anywhere or do anything. Want a coffee?”

“Christ no thanks, I can’t drink the stuff. Isn’t this great? We get to chill out and do whatever we want!” Peter perked up as he considered the possibilities. “Let’s do something!”

“I’m going to the gym, I haven’t worked out in a few days and I need to. Do you want to come?” asked Alex, knocking back his cup of strong black coffee.

“Ahhh, umm, that’s not really what I had in mind…” Peter thought about it briefly. “Sure, why not. I just need to eat something first.”

After taking the stairs down from their 5th level flat, something Alex insisted on for some reason, the pair walked down the street to a gym that Alex had noticed when they were getting groceries the day before. He’d used the stair walk to warm up and was looking forward to some stretching, weights and cardio. Arriving at the gym’s front door, they were confronted by a padlock and a big sign stating they were closed until further notice due to the Covid 19 pandemic and government health regulations.

“Oh for christ’s sake!” Alex cursed angrily. “I need to move, or do something. Come on, let’s go

for a jog.” Peter sighed dramatically and followed after the taller boy. Alex didn’t hear him, having already taken off ahead.

An hour or so later they arrive back at the flat. Neither are flushed or even particularly winded, but Peter is a lot less chirpy than he was before.

“I don’t usually exercise like that,” he told Alex as they went up the stairs “usually my patrols give me all that I need. I can’t really do that here though, I can’t let it be known that (he pauses and whispers while using air quotes) ‘Spiderman’ is here. I’ll have to dial back on the web-slinging for a while I guess. Why are we going up the stairs though?”

“I don’t use lifts. What do you patrol for?” Alex replied.

“Oh you know, bad guys, crimes in progress, cats stuck in trees, the usual. So, why don’t you use lifts?” Peter persisted, as he got bored with climbing stairs and shot a web out to flick himself up onto the next level, making sure to remove the evidence afterwards. There was no answer, so he turned back to find Alex staring at him.

“What the hell was that?”

“What, the web? It’s what I do. You know, I’m ‘ _Spiderman’_? I shoot webs and sling from them. I thought I told you that?”

“No, no you didn’t. We need to have a conversation about that.” Alex told him, as they continued climbing and got to their floor. “Lifts are death traps. I never use them unless there is no other option. The exercise is beneficial too.”

Peter laughed. “Dude, the engineering in lifts has so many redundancies, those stories of them failing and falling are just stories! You don’t need to be scared of them!”

Rolling his eyes, Alex shook his head. “I don’t use lifts so I’m not trapped in one with someone trying to kill me. Spy 101 rookie.”

“Oh. Oh right. Sure, that makes sense, I guess.” Peter acknowledged, taken aback and wondering how many people had tried to kill Alex for him to have that sort of behaviour ingrained into his everyday habits. Far out.

Back in the apartment after Peter has had his second breakfast and Alex his first, Peter was listening to Alex grumble about the closed gym. “Jogging is fine but I need more than that. What am I going to do with a gym? I’ll lose condition.”

“I was thinking, I could ask Mr Stark to get us a better place?” Peter ventured. “Something with a bit more room, maybe a gym and a pool?”

Cocking his head quizzically to the side, Alex asked “What kind of budget does your operation have? Mine are so stingy, they’ll never agree to that. I mean, they’ve got me bunking with a foreign operative during a world wide pandemic for god’s sake, just to save a few quid. No offence!” he added quickly.

Peter just laughed. “I guess you haven’t heard of Stark Industries either then. Look them up sometime!” and with that he wandered off to email Tony Stark.

_Dear Mr Stark,_

_Hey so Alex and I are going a bit bonkers in this tiny flat. Can you hook us up with something a bit bigger please? With a gym and a pool?_

_How’s life back home, are you guys ok?_

_Your friendly you know,_

_Peter_

The next few weeks passed quietly as the pair started to get to know each other better and got used to living this strange new lockdown life. Like almost everyone else in the world, they suddenly needed to learn how to adjust to their previously busy and full lives now being quiet, and slow. Alex, having had some previous experience in the art of patiently waiting, didn’t do too badly. He jogged every day, accompanied by the unenthusiastic Peter. He completed his mission report for the school drug gang and sent it off to MI6, and played Call of Duty when he was bored.

Peter, on the other hand, had trouble keeping himself busy. There was only so much tv he could watch. He was used to being far more active and staying cooped up in their little flat was starting to drive him crazy. Alex came out of the bathroom where he’d been showering one evening to find Peter clinging to the living room wall, and as Alex watched, Peter climbed sideways across the wall, braced himself, then flipped backwards over the couch and tv, to land upside down on the opposite wall.

“Are you like, literally climbing the walls?!” Alex laughed out loud. “Who knew they had you in mind when they came up with that expression!”

Peter just glared at him, upside down, and repeated the move back to the other wall.

“I’m bored, ok? Leave me alone!”

One day Alex received a large parcel from the MI6 crew. It contained a new VISA, a new laptop and a letter from Mrs Jones, telling him to use the time to brush up on skills. She advises him that the laptop has language programs to improve his German, Italian and Japanese, which he already has some basic understanding of, and complete curriculums for Arabic and Turkish.

“Dude, your boss expects you to learn FIVE languages while you’re here?!” Peter exclaims incredulously as he reads over Alex’s shoulder. “That’s a bit much don’t you think?”

“Not really,” Alex replies, who is actually pleased to have something to do, “I already speak fluent French, Spanish and Russian. I have a bit of German, Italian and Japanese, but I’d like to learn more. This is great! They’ve even given me a program to learn how to touch type, that will make completing post mission reports so much faster! Oh and Mrs Jones isn’t my boss, she’s my handler, you know, like your Happy.”

“Were you the teacher’s pet at school?” Peter queried, then jumped backwards as Alex took a squat at him “Kidding man, kidding!”

Smithers had included a package as well and they unwrapped the bubble wrap together. There’s a set of mini recon drones, a large, impressive looking camera with different lenses, and a Nintendo Switch. There’s also an Iphone with a post-it stuck to it and the word “Touch ID required”. Alex pressed his finger to the sensor and the phone lit up with one app on the screen “Private”. After Alex tapped the app, and Smithers voice filled the room.

_“Alex my boy!_

_Sorry to hear you got stuck over there during all this mess. I’ve been missing having you around so I’ve sent you some toys to play with, I mean, to beta test for me. Send me a report sometime on them, will you?_

_The drones have infrared capabilities and should be able to see through walls as well. You can control all of them at the same time or one at a time. Maybe you can spot a koala at night with them!_

_The camera has a night vision mode and a really excellent zoom. It also has a directional microphone that you can link to your phone, just pop your headphones in and open the app called “Big Ears”. It can pick up conversations one hundred metres away, or inside buildings. Oh and it’s a normal camera too of course._

_I also loaded some extra programs on your new laptop – you can now get any TV streaming service in the world, unlimited internet and Spotify, and of course the usual programs we use for standard surveillance operations. Get to know them and let me know if you find any glitches or bugs._

_Oh, bugs!! Remember your old Gameboy that I gave you a few years ago? I’ve sent you an upgrade, a Switch this time. I kept the game names the same for the same functions, so you’ll know what they all are._

_Anyway, keep yourself safe and well won’t you Alex? Things are pretty bad over here, this virus is really spreading quickly. Seems like you’re in a better spot than us for once!_

_All the best old chap. You’d better pop this phone somewhere safe, it will self-destruct in 10 seconds. Cheerio!”_

“Wait, what?!” Peter yelped in panic, “What does he mean, self-destruct?!” Alex, who had been expecting something like that, calmly walked over to the kitchen sink and put the phone down inside it. A few seconds later they heard muted fizzing & popping sound and acrid smelling smoke rose from the sink as the phone burnt itself out. Alex smiled to himself and looked up to find Peter staring at him. “Dude, you work for some seriously strange people.”

“Smithers is great,” Alex told him, “he has the best gadgets. This is going to be fun.”

“I think you need to work on your idea of fun. At least he sent you a games console, what games does it have on it?”

Alex snorted. “It does have games, but each one has its own function. Nemesis let you copy documents, Exocet is an X-ray machine that lets you see through solid walls and doors, Speed Wars finds bugs and Bomber Boy is a remotely detonated smoke bomb. Each one has its own code to activate the special functions.” Peter just stared at him, speechless for once.

One last box inside the larger package turned out to be from Crawley. He had sent 100 hospital grade face masks and several bottles of hand sanitiser. A thick manilla folder contained comprehensive information on the Covid-19 virus and safety precautions that they should take, and he had also written a very detailed letter with lists of what they should stock up on and a projected timeline of when the supply chain will shut down and what they should do in various scenarios relating to that.

He also suggested starting a vegetable garden and becoming as self-sufficient as they can and included links to website named things “Backyard Self-Sufficiency” and “An Essential Guide to Self-Sufficient Gardening with 17 Staple Crops”.

“Does this guy really care about you, or is he just a paranoid germaphobe?” Peter asked Alex.

“Paranoid germaphobe!” Alex was snickering. “That’s a good one”.

Peter laughed as well as he started playing with the Switch. “How do I activate the x-ray on this thing?” he asked as he moved towards the walls.

Despite the new toys, the days passed slowly for the boys. Alex insisted they jog early every morning, to Peter’s disgust, who went along with it more for the chance to get outside than any interest in actual exercise. Sometimes they mixed it up with some Parkour as they went. Peter restrained himself from slinging any webs and found that Alex was very nearly a match for him.

They came close to their first real fight they day that Alex decided to climb up the outside of a 6 storey car parking facility, just for fun. They’d been jogging along as usual when Peter realised that Alex had disappeared. After tracing their steps back with no luck finding him, he was starting to get concerned when he saw Alex out of the corner of his eye, 2 floors up and climbing rapidly. Peter gasped and raced after him, catching up and passing him quickly.

“What are you doing?!” he hissed at Alex, trying not to attract attention from anyone that might be nearby.

“I’m so sick of just jogging, I need to use my muscles you know? This seemed like a fun challenge.” Alex replied, as he reached up and grasped the next handhold.

“Get down! What if you fall? You’re 4 stories up with no safety lines you idiot!” Peter railed at him, climbing above him and blocking his way. Alex calmly started to go around him and muttered “You’re up here too!”

“I’m only up here because of you! And besides, I’m sticky, I won’t fall. You aren’t. This is crazy, come on dude, please get down?” Peter knew that he could catch Alex with a web if he needed too, but he really, really didn’t want to have to do that out in public like this. Not when Spiderman isn’t even supposed to be in Australia.

“I won’t fall either. Either climb with me or get out of my way, I’m going to the top.” The determination in Alex’s voice made Peter pause. It seemed like he was really going to do this. Peter moved aside and started shadowing Alex, his heart pounding every time Alex moved, senses hyper-alert and ready to catch him when he fell. It felt like a very long time before they finally reached the top, 6 floors up. Peter’s hands were trembling and his breathing shaky, his nerves shot to hell. The stress of fearing that Alex would fall burst out of him as he rounded on Alex, grabbing his arms and shaking him back and forth.

“What were you thinking? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen, you could have fallen and killed yourself.”

“I was thinking it looked like fun, and it was. I feel good now. Shall we climb back down the same way?” Alex grinned, looking sideways at Peter and completely unrepentant for his actions.

Back at the flat, Peter needed a break to calm down. He shut himself in his room and caught up on his emails, leaving Alex to continue the language lessons he’d been doing every day since receiving his new laptop. Not happy with the reckless streak he’d discovered in his very human flat mate, he decided to set up a Zoom meeting with his Avenger friends for later on, in the hope that they might show a good example for Alex in safety and caution. Feeling better about things, he went back out in the living area and found Alex playing Call of Duty again.

“How’s it going?” Peter asked as a peace gesture.

“Bloody awful actually. This guy keeps beating me, I just can’t win when he’s around. And every time I get online, he pops up, like some kind of freaky stalker.” Alex replied, frustrated with the other gamer. Looking at the stats on the screen, Peter gasped in awe.

“Wow! This guy, have you seen his stats?! They’re amazing, I’ve never seen anyone with those figures before! What even is that kill death ratio, how is it so high?”

“Yeah yeah I kind of figured that out when he’s been taking out every player in every game. He doesn’t even have a team, he’s a Solo but he keeps winning. I mean, look at his name!” muttered Alex, concentrating on the gameplay as he worked his way around the edge of the battlefield.

“ZeroDeaths? That is the most awesome name I’ve even seen. Wow, he’s so cool!” Alex swore as he was killed yet again.

“Dammit. This sucks. I need to beat this _salaud_.”

“This what?”

“This bastard.” Alex replied angrily.

“Well why didn’t you just say that?” Peter thought about it for a moment, then lit up. “Hey, let’s get Ned and your friend Tom and form a team, surely we can beat him if there’s four against one!”.

\---------------------------------------

A short while later…

**Discord #team-destroy-zero-deaths**

MyghtiChondrya: Are you guys there?

DarkSydeKnite94: Peter, hey! What time is it there?

MyghtiChondrya: Hey Ned! It’s about 2pm, why, what time is it there?

DarkSydeKnite94: 11pm here man. Nice to talk to you, what are we doing?

RyderBoiZ2: We’re playing Call of Duty War Zone and we’re going kick this guys ass!

MutantRights4Eva: Alex, hey! What’s up? You suck at emails bro. Why’re you waking me up so early, it’s 4am for Christ’s sake.

RyderBoiZ2: Sorry Tom but I’ve got an emergency and I need your help.

MutantRights4Eva: Oh shit, what’s going on? I thought you were stuck in Australia, has someone found you? What do you want me to do?

DarkSydeKnite94: What is he talking about?

MyghtiChondrya: Ah, umm, Alex, can you explain it? Is this secure, can we talk openly?

RyderBoiZ2: It is, and we can, within reason. Ned right? I’m Peter’s flatmate here in Australia, we both got stuck here and our organisations put us together.

DarkSydeKnite94: Oh, so are you a superhero too?

MutantRights4Eva: _*strangled choking noises* *coughing & gasping with laughter*_

Oh that was hilarious, thanks!

RyderBoiZ2: _(stiffly)_ No Ned, I’m not a superhero. I’m in intelligence.

MutantRights4Eva: He’s a spy dude! Wait, what do you mean too? Peter who are you?

DarkSydeKnite94: He’s Spiderman dude! And I’m his guy in the chair!

MyghtiChondrya: Jeez Ned, just come right out and say it why don’t you.

RyderBoiZ2: It’s ok Peter, Smithers put the best encryption software available on my laptop and I started this Discord on it. No-one can hear us. Anyway, this is all besides the point.

MutantRights4Eva: *silence*

*silence*

*silence*

RyderBoiZ2: Tom, are you there? Have we lost you?

MutantRights4Eva: **DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT I’M TALKING TO SPIDERMAN?** The actual, real deal Spiderman? Shoots webs and fights crime? And he’s your FLATMATE Alex? Jeez you get all the luck.

RyderBoiZ2: _*snorts*_ He’s just a normal guy Tom.

MyghtiChondrya: Nice to meet you Tom!

MutantRights4Eva: omg. Omg. OMG! _*draws in a deep breath*_ Nicetameetchatoo Spiderman!!

RyderBoiZ2: Tom, remember you signed the OSA. You can’t tell anyone. Come on guys, enough mucking around, I need your help. This guy keeps kicking my ass at Call of Duty and I need you all on my team to beat him. Are you in?

MyghtiChondrya: I’m in. Let’s go.

DarkSydeKnite94: I’m in.

MutantRights4Eva: This is your emergency? Whatever, sure I’m in. Since when do you even play CoD though Alex?!

 _*whispers*_ omg I’m playing with SPIDERMAN!

Half an hour later.

RyderBoiZ2: _*snarling*_ Poshel ty, mudak, yebat'! _(Fuck off, you asshole fuck!)_

MyghtiChondrya: What?

DarkSydeKnite94: What did he say? What language was that!

MutantRights4Eva: Guys, when Alex starts swearing in Russian, you need to give him some space. He’s either about to do something really stupid, or kill someone.

DarkSydeKnite94: What do you mean, kill someone? You mean in the game right? Right?

MyghtiChondrya: _*soothingly*_ Alex, calm down, we can try again. 

MutantRights4Eva: I can see why he calls himself ZeroDeaths. Did you guys see how many people he killed? Dude took out at least half the field on his own and didn’t get killed once.

DarkSydeKnite94: Alex is pretty good too though, his kill/death ratio is almost as high as this guy. It’s a cool as name hey.

MutantRights4Eva: Yeah Alex, you’re nearly as good as him. When did you start playing CoD though? You never played with me before.

RyderBoiZ2: _*doesn’t answer, is breathing deeply with his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose*_

MyghtiChondrya: He started a couple of days ago and he’s already better than me.

DarkSydeKnite94: He’s better than me too and I’ve been playing for years.

MutantRights4Eva: Let me guess. It’s just like assassin school, right?

DarkSydeKnite94: _*yelps*_ What? Are you for real? He’s an assassin? Peter dude, what the hell?

RyderBoiZ2: _*sighs*_ I’m NOT an assassin, I just went to assassin school for a bit. Right. Let’s go again.

Half an hour later.

RyderBoiZ2: _*snarling*_ Poshyel k chyertu Zhopa! _(Go to hell asshole!)_

MyghtiChondrya: _*silence*_

DarkSydeKnite94: _*silence*_

MutantRights4Eva: Chill man, we’ll get him next time. I gotta go, I need to get some sleep before my parents get me up for our ‘daily exercise’. Catch ya next time.

DarkSydeKnite94: Same. Next time guys.

**Discord # team-destroy-zero-deaths closes**

At the flat, Alex is pacing around and around the living area liked a caged beast, muttering to himself in Russian. Suddenly he drops and starts doing push ups, the hard kind. He continues this for some time, until he’s covered in sweat and panting. Peter has retreated to the kitchen and has made a snack for them both. 

“Alex…. do you think maybe you’re getting a little bit, I don’t know, obsessed with this guy maybe?” Peter asks cautiously, being careful to keep his distance. He didn’t think Alex was likely to lash out at him, he’s seemed pretty cool headed up until now, but this was a new version of Alex that he hadn’t yet seen. Tom hadn’t seemed unduly concerned, but then Tom was on the other side of the world and not a potential target for a very, very angry teenage spy with god knows what kind of skills. 

Alex jumps up from the floor and stalks over towards Peter, who tenses slightly, but Alex just move past him to the tap and pours a glass of water.

“Probably. He’s just so dammed…. arrogant, you know? Like he’s laughing at me each time he beats me.”

“Dude he probably is. So what? Come on, let’s do something else to take your mind off it.” Peter replied. “Let’s play with those drones, you haven’t even taken them out of the box yet.”

Later than night, Peter woke suddenly and lay still for a moment, waiting to find out what had woken him. A soft “Merde” came from the living room, and Peter quietly went out to see what was happening. He stood for a while in the doorway, watching Alex as he played CoD yet again. Alex was swearing in French this time. Peter didn’t know if that meant he was doing better or worse, but either way he was staying out of it this time. He turned around and went back to bed, leaving Alex to his obsession.

4.30am. Alex had just lost yet another session to ZeroDeaths. He’d decided to give up for the night and go to bed when a direct message appeared on his Discord app.

ZeroDeaths: Had enough yet mah-lysh?

 _Little one?!_ Alex thought to himself. _The bastard is calling me little one?_ He growled in disgust and stalked off to bed without bothering to reply. _I’ll get him next time._

\--------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't actually play CoD or use Discord.  
> I'm writing this for my kids and they chose the game (they don't actually play it either though!). Let me know if I need to correct anything.  
> I'm also having trouble with the formatting and it keeps randomly switching from single to double line spacing for some reason. Sorry about that.


	3. “Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.” ― L. Frank Baum

Peter revelled in a luxurious sleep-in, enjoying the side benefits of Alex’s obsession with ZeroDeaths – no jogging for him today! Even after he got out of bed, he slothed around the living area, eating several bowls of cereal on the couch while watching random shows on tv. It was almost lunchtime before he decided he’d better open up the balcony curtains and doors and let some light and fresh air in. As he rubbed his eyes and blinked in the sudden brightness, he saw a box sitting on the balcony floor. _Where on earth did that come from?_ he wondered, bringing it inside.

The mystery was solved when he saw a Stark Industries logo stamped on the box. Mail from home! Peter happily thought as he opened it up. Several Twinkies covered the contents inside and Peter immediately opened one and started munching as he pulled everything else out.

Steve Rogers had sent several detailed exercise routine using a variety of different gym machines. _Good thing the gyms have closed down and I don’t have to do all that!_ Peter smirked to himself.

Happy had sent a bundle of homework from Peter’s school with instructions to _Get This Done ASAP!_ and a note saying _“Call Your Aunt!”_ He also sent a thick mission debrief folder that turned out to have almost exactly the same information that Crawley had sent Alex. Medical information about Covid-19, precautions to take to avoid catching or spreading it, even print outs on how to sanitise your hands properly for Pete’s sake! His letter told Peter to remember that even though it’s quite unlikely that Peter would actually catch the virus, his special abilities don’t include immunity to illness, and anyway, he could still be a spreader even if he didn’t get sick. **Wear a mask!** was the last line he wrote, underlining it and making it bold to emphasise his point. There was also a box of 100 hospital grade face masks and several bottles of hand sanitiser. _Well we’re definitely not going to run out of that!_ Peter chuckled to himself.

In the bottom of the box was a letter from Mr Stark.

Kid - got your email and found you a place. Pack your stuff and meet the real estate agent at this address at 3pm today. Enjoy the extras, share the Twinkies.

Things are busy here. Stark Industries are manufacturing masks and sanitiser as fast as we can and the A team are delivering them all of the States as fast as we make them. Steve, Banner, Romanov and I are isolating at the compound, the rest are handling the pickups and deliveries – socially distant and non-contact of course. Thor is staying on Asgard and has closed his borders to prevent the virus spreading there. Looks like things are going to get real bad here real soon. Glad you’re safe there. We’ll do that Zoom call when we get a chance. Call your Aunt.

Jumping up from the couch and scattering Twinkie crumbs everywhere, Peter raced into Alex’s bedroom and started shaking his arm to wake him up.

“Alex! Ale – hey!!” he exclaimed as Alex lashed out, grabbing Peter and flipping him onto the floor, a knife appearing at his neck – again.

“Oh crap I forgot about that, sorry dude!” Peter told Alex, who had finally cracked his eyes open to stare down at him. “Seriously, the knife thing again? Come on, you don’t need that here!”

Alex stepped off Peter and gave him a hand up. “Sorry. I did warn you about that though. What’s the emergency?”

“We’re moving! In like, 2 hours. Come on, we’ve gotta get packed.” Peter bounded out of the room followed somewhat more slowly by Alex, who immediately went and started making himself a coffee.

“What is going on?” he asked Peter, rubbing his eyes as he tried to shake off the after effects of his late night gaming marathon. 20 + straight hours of gaming was exhausting, who knew!

Peter showed Alex all the contents of the box he’d received and told him about its strange arrival. As he went started going through each person’s correspondence, he tossed Alex a Twinkie and told him he was about to taste heaven on earth. Alex ripped the little packet open and took a big bite, then froze with a shocked look on his face.

“Great aren’t they!” Peter chirped happily. “They don’t sell those here, I’ve been missing them so bad.”

Alex grabbed the bin and spat the crushed contents of his mouth into it, dumping the remainder still in the packet in as well. “That is the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted!” he groaned, “How can you eat such garbage!” as he rinsed his mouth out with black coffee and spat into the sink.

“Oh dude, no way! You’re crazy, they’re awesome!”

“Nope, they’re bloody awful. Remind me to get Tom to send you a Jaffa cake, then you’ll taste something really delicious.” Alex told him, eyeing off the box of masks and bottles of sanitiser.

“Looks like you’ve got your own paranoid germaphobe.”

“Yeah, Happy sent all that, plus hygiene instructions and all sorts of other stuff I already know, just like your guy did. Oh, and he sent me HOMEWORK! School’s not even in, why should I have to do homework.” Peter grumbled.

"Well you know, we are two teenage boys living on our own during a pandemic.” Alex told him reasonably. “You and I both know that we know how to stay safe but all the adults I know are constantly expecting me to stuff up, at least on the basic stuff like this. So they go overboard on the instructions. I guess it means they care about us.”

“Gah. I guess so. Alright, let’s get packed up, we need to get an Uber over to this place to meet this agent, we’d better get going.” Peter replied, putting everything back in its box and starting to get organised.

Sometime later, they stood in the street staring at the new place they were going to be living in.

“Are you sure you’ve got the right address?” Alex asked Peter, who double checked the note and nodded. “Well, let’s go then.” They had quite a pile of belongings for people who’d been living in a rented apartment for only a short time. They each had a bag of clothes, several bags of food, the items their respective organisations had sent them and of course the treasured games consoles.

The house they were standing in front of was in a very nice suburb of Brisbane, and was much, much larger than they were expecting. A professionally dressed woman came outside and over to them, asking “Are you Peter and Alex? I’m Maryanne from the real estate.”

"Yes we are” “Hello, nice to meet you.” they replied at the same time.

"Well let’s get your things inside and get the paperwork sorted out, then I can give you a tour.” She told them, helping to pick up some of the bags around them.

“I gather that your employer organised this for you since you’ve been stuck here because of the pandemic?” Maryanne continued conversationally as they went inside. The boys exchanged a look, and Peter simply said “Yes, yes he did.”

“Wonderful. You are very lucky to get this place, it had only been listed on the market the same day your employer bought it. They requested that it be fully furnished for two young males, and specified several items in particular be included for you, in particular the gym equipment. We’ve all been very curious at the office as to what you to do for a living?” ending her sentence with a query and raised eyebrows.

“We’re in security.” Alex replied. “We work with international clients and were here to meet a prospective client. The job fell through when the borders closed and we got stuck here.”

“Ahh, so that’s why you need the gym, you need to keep fit for work of course. You do seem rather young for security though.”

“We’re not as young as we look. Clients prefer it because people underestimate us, thinking we’re just kids. It’s very useful.”

Peter just nodded, impressed with how fast Alex had come up with that story. “Wait, what do you mean, he bought it? I thought we were just going to be renting somewhere.”

“Well, yes, they bought it.” Maryanne nodded, satisfied with their answer, “You just need to sign these forms and the place is all yours.” as she spread some documents out on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, and I was asked to give you this message.” She cleared her throat a little self-consciously and read from a note. 

_“In recognition and appreciation for your outstanding work, we gift you this house._  
_Now you will always have a safe haven.”_

Alex slapped Peter, who was looking stunned, on his back in congratulations. “You’re a home owner Peter! Good for you.”

“Oh! Oh no, it’s for both of you! Both your names are on the deeds.” Maryanne interrupted, causing Alex to stop in shock and look equally stunned. “Me?” he asked disbelievingly, “It’s for me too?”

“Of course. Stark International bought this house for you both and has listed you both as owners.” Maryanne paused and looked at both boys, who were just staring at her in silence. “They’ve also set up accounts for payment of the rates, water, electricity, internet, insurance and any other costs. All you need to do is move in and perhaps get some food. I must say, your employer is extremely generous and is taking very good care of you. You must be excellent employees.”

The two simply stood there, staring at her. Two pairs of large brown eyes were suddenly glistening, as if with tears. Alex swallowed audibly and turned away, grabbing one of their shopping bags with cold food in it and moving towards the fridge. He turned his back on Peter and Maryanne and started transferring milk and other cold foods into the fridge with measured movements, his shoulders rising and falling as he took deep breaths. Peter surreptitiously swiped at his eyes while Maryanne was watching Alex in surprise. He too took a few deep breaths to help deal with the suddenly overwhelming emotions he was feeling.

Maryanne was a bit nonplussed and not sure how to deal with the suddenly silent and obviously touched teenagers. “Well, I hope you like what we’ve brought in for you. Our whole office got in on it, choosing the furniture, linen, even the games. We even stocked the pantry, fridge and freezer for you so you won’t need to go shopping for a while.”

Peter and Alex looked at her and smiled, having mastered their feelings at last. “Thank you so much Maryanne.” Peter told her.

“Please thank everyone who helped as well. We really appreciate everything that you have all done for us.” Alex continued. 

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Maryanne replied briskly, “Here’s the sale brochure if you want to read the property details. I hope you enjoy living here, I’m sure you’ll be very happy. Call me if you ever need anything else.” and with that she took her paperwork and let herself out, leaving Alex and Peter to look around themselves in amazement.

“I’m not crying, you’re crying!” Peter said softly to Alex, with a smile.

“Oh shut up! This is amazing. No-one has ever done anything like this for me before.” Alex replied without embarrassment. “A place to truly call my own, and to share it with you? It’s incredible. I don’t know if I can accept it.”

“Yeah, it really is, isn’t it. Mr Stark sure does know how to be generous with his money. Just smile and be grateful.” Peter answered, picking up the brochure that Maryanne had left and reading it to Alex.

_“Looking to make lifelong memories for your family? The kind that involve gracious living, splashing in the pool in summer time, and overlooking seemingly infinite green to ramble, garden and explore the wild creek in your back yard - while only being a walk into the CBD?_ _Built over two levels, with huge entertainment decks at the rear to enjoy the views of greenery and the creek, your fabulous home offers the almost impossible these days: an acreage lifestyle with a rural feel alongside immediate city conveniences. You will be amazed to discover such a block in this central location! At a rare 1366 sqm with a stylish salt water in ground pool, room to run around, a private treed garden with raised vegetable beds and your own creek access and view - you and the kids will love it._ _Whether they're kayaking the creek, frolicking in the pool or kicking a ball, you can pull up the nearest Bali bed to relax and enjoy the green-scented breezes from one of your full-length covered decks. And if you can be roused to leave the sanctuary of your own electric gated property, abundant parkland abounds nearby, perfect for the avid walker._ _Easily cater from your contemporary gourmet kitchen with stone benches and open plan design leading to the living area and upstairs deck with relaxing views over the parklands across the creek, and pop into your personal cellar for over 1200 bottles to keep the wine flowing.  
  
With polished timber floors throughout, upstairs offers you two generous bedrooms, both with built in robes and ensuites, while downstairs is perfect for fun. It boasts a luxurious media room, games room, 2 additional bedrooms, bathroom and a kitchenette to make parties out by the pool a breeze.  
  
_ _Why This is a Home Like No Other!  
• Glorious treed view overlooking creek on 1366 sqm just over 3 kilometres to the CBD!_

_• Elevated, private two-storey home with massive decks at the rear on both levels_

_• 4 bedrooms all with built in robes, upstairs rooms with walk-ins and ensuites_

_• Open plan upstairs area combining kitchen, dining and living areas to easy entertaining_

_• Media room, games room, bathroom, laundry and kitchenette downstairs_

_• In ground salt water pool_

_• 3 car garage plus another bay for storage with cupboards and massive workbench_

_• Automatic gates, inground safe and so much more!_

_• Long view up Enoggera Creek at the rear of the block where it meets Ithaca creek_

_• Acreage lifestyle feel on expansive 1366 sqm with mature fruit trees of a dozen varieties_

_• Walk, bike ride or catch easy public transport to the CBD”_

“Wow,” Alex whistled softly, “This sounds amazing. I can’t believe we’re standing here, let alone that it’s ours.”

“Let’s check it out!” Peter grinned as he bounced up and down on his toes excitedly. “This is awesome!”

The two wandered all over the house together, picking out their own rooms on the upper floor and admiring the view from the top rear balcony.

“Look at all the park land out the back there, there are trees big enough for me to swing from and it looks so wild, if I go at night I probably won’t be seen by anyone! I can web sling again!” Peter literally jumped for joy as he gazed out at the wide open spaces.

“Check out the pool!” Alex replied, gazing down. “I haven’t got any bathers, have you?”

“Do you mean trunks?” Peter asked him, cocking his head quizzically. “No, I haven’t got any either. I need to get some more clothes anyway, we can just get some then.”

Downstairs, they were made speechless once again. Tony Stark had evidentially taken Peter’s modest request and just thrown money at the real estate people. The games room had two large flat screens set up back to back, and each had both a PlayStation and an Xbox connected, headphones and proper gaming chairs. A large shelf nearby was filled with games and had a fridge next to it, fully stocked with snacks and soft drinks. A pool table filled the rest of the room, which looked out onto the deck outside.

The garage had been converted into a complete home gym, and one of the bedrooms was now a library with comfy armchairs, full of shelves containing a large variety of reading materials – fiction, non-fiction, educational text books for them both, even cooking and gardening books.

The other room has been converted into a home office, with wall to wall desks and shelves holding assorted stationary above one of the desks running up to the ceiling. The kitchenette had more snacks stocked inside, and wine and beer in the fridge. 

Peter grinned happily and reached for a beer. “I guess Mr Stark didn’t tell them how old we are!” He handed one to Alex, who hesitated, then shrugged and said “Why not!”

Taking their beers outside, the pair explored the large backyard. The wooden deck opened up onto a Bali hut on one side and the large pool on the other, with stairs stepping down into the garden itself.

Huge hedges surrounded the property on each side, flanked by fruit trees of varying sizes all the way down to the creek at the back. Raised vegetable garden beds marched in rows down through the centre of the garden, leading to a large open grassed area at the back. The property ended with more steps down to the deep creek, and a small jetty.  
“Wow. Just, wow!” Peter exclaimed. “This is“

“Amazing!” Alex finished for him. “Do you know what any of these fruit trees are?”

“Not a clue!” replied Peter, laughing. “I’m from Queens dude.”

“Yeah, I’ve got no idea either. Come on, let’s check out the pool.”

The boys spent the afternoon swimming in their jocks, drinking the beer in the fridge nearby. Alex was feeling more relaxed then he could remember feeling in a long, long time, and Peter, well Peter was one very happy little drunken Spiderman. He giggled and hiccupped as he companionably slung his arm over Alex’s shoulder when they made their way upstairs looking for something to eat for dinner. Alex had to practically carry him most of the way and once upstairs, dumped Peter onto the couch before heading over to the kitchen to check out their supplies.

The kitchen was larger than it appeared, with a very well stocked butler’s pantry opening off one side of it. Feeling the effects of unaccustomed alcohol intake himself, Alex decided to throw a few frozen pizzas into the oven rather than attempt to actually cook anything. He grabbed a couple of bags of chips to tide them over and turned to head back to the lounge room, only to find Peter standing nearby, staring through another doorway leading off from the other side of the kitchen.

“Dude……” Peter sighed in awe, “Check this out!”

Alex went over to stand next to him and looked through the clear glass door too. Inside the small room were two wine fridges with clear glass doors, completely stocked full of various white wines. Above the fridges were built in shelves full of bottles of red wine, and cartons of various types of beer filled a third wine fridge at the end. Opening the door, Peter went inside and turned back to Alex “It’s climate controlled! Wow.” Peter found a chilled bottle of champagne with a festive bow on it and a tag saying _Congratulations!_ hanging from its neck, and brought it back out to the kitchen. “Let’s celebrate!”

Laughing and grabbing two glasses, Alex joined him, took the bottle away from Peter and poured them each a glass. “Salut!” he raised a glass in Peter’s direction before sipping in appreciation. Peter took a much larger gulp, swished it around in his mouth and swallowed quickly.

“This Dom, umm, Dom Perig non, it’s alright, isn’t it! The bubbles are tickling my nose!” he giggled, before quickly swallowing the rest of his glass and pouring himself another. Alex rolled his eyes as he drank rather more decorously.

 _Ding!_ “Pizzas ready, let’s eat!” Alex declared, hoping the food would slow down Peters drinking. It didn’t. A short time later, the pizzas had been demolished and Peter was pouring the last of the champagne into his glass. Alex was only on his second, which with the beers they’d had earlier was more alcohol than he’d ever had before.

“This stuff tastes great!” Peter giggled as he stood up to take his plate into the kitchen. “Whoops, is this floor uneven or shomething? Oh, thash my phone, I wonder who’s calling? Oh shit, Alex, Alex its Mr Stark! Shit! Shhh, don’t tell him I’ve been drinking!”

Alex rolled his eyes silently. He was pretty sure Peter’s slurring would give the game away without him saying anything at all.

Leaning against the kitchen bench for support, Peter answered the Facetime call.

“Hi Mr Stark! Howsh things? Hey thanks for this aweshome housh, it’s so aweshome!!”

“Hi Peter, I just wanted to call you boys and check in, see if you have everything you need.” Tony replied. “Are you both doing ok?”

“Oh yeah, we’re just great! Thish place is amazing. Like, it’s just so aweshome!” Peter answered him.

“We chose it very carefully, we thought you’d especially like the forest out the back Peter, it will give you some privacy if you need to get some slinging practise in.”

"Actually they call it _‘bush’_ here Mr Stark, I’ve been learning Awe-stray-leanne you know. Alex there is learning all thesh fancy langwiges all the time but I like the way thesh Aussies sshpeak so I’m gonna learn it. Bonza mate!”

Alex, upon hearing the way Peter’s speaking was devolving by the minute, decided to try and save the situation, and took the phone from Peter’s hand and turned the camera to himself, giving Peter a gentle shove away.

“Hello Mr Stark, it’s nice to meet you. Thank you so much for giving us this house. It was extremely generous and unexpected, and means a lot to me. I know it means a lot to Peter too.” Alex told Tony quietly.

“You’ve very welcome Alex. I’ve been told some of what you’ve been busy doing the last few years by your people, and I thought this was not only well deserved, but needed as well.” Tony replied, interrupted by a loud “Woohoo!!!” from Peter in the background, as he suddenly leapt from the upper story balcony out into the garden.

“Hmmm. Has he been drinking? How did you boys get alcohol?” Tony asked Alex.

"Only a little, the real estate people left us a bottle of champagne,” Alex answered, thinking quickly. “Uh sir, I’ve gotta go, Peter’s just jumped off the 2nd floor balcony, I’d better go check on him.”

Tony laughed, telling Alex that Peter would be fine and saying their goodbyes, ended the call.

At the Avengers compound, Tony turned to Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanov, who had been in the background during the call and laughed. “Those boys are both as drunk as skunks, cheeky devils!”

“Oh? I thought Alex was sober. He wasn’t slurring like Peter was.” Bruce said.

“Are you kidding? He hid it better but didn’t you see the way he was slowly weaving from one side to the other? He was wobbling the whole time!” Tony laughed.

“This is very disappointing, I thought we could trust them both to be responsible over there on their own.” Steve said sombrely.

“Boys will be boys.” Natasha laughed as well. “They’ll be fine, it was only the one bottle. Let them blow off some steam for once, they deserve it.”

In Brisbane, Alex was standing at the edge of their upper balcony, looking for Peter, who had vanished. _Shit!_ he thought to himself. _There’s a very drunk Spiderman somewhere out there in that, what did he call it – bush! I’ve gotta find him._

He raced downstairs into the office where he’d left the boxes holding the drones, and quickly unpacked them before taking them and his laptop out to the picnic table on the lower deck.

Activating them and syncing them to his laptop, he turned on their infrared cameras and launched all four at once, sending them soaring up into the sky and over the bush out the back.

His screen lit up with options and he chose one marked Search, then watched as the screen split into four boxes, each showing the camera from a different drone. The drones split up and started searching in an orderly pattern, each covering a different section as Alex directed them away from neighbouring houses. He hoped that Peter had at least retained enough sense to stay away from them too.

After a short while Alex caught a flash of body heat from the edge of one of the cameras, and quickly took control to follow it. There was a human shaped figure, apparently leaping from gum tree to gum tree – it had to be Peter! He re-tasked the drones, tracking the first one onto Peter and sending the others circling around the area he was in, keeping an eye out for anyone else who might be in the area. Peter was oblivious, swinging and slinging to his heart’s content, flipping, leaping, climbing and jumping and generally having a wonderful time, as Alex kept watch for him. The occasional “Woohoo!” echoed faintly over the tops of the trees.

Hours later, an exuberant Peter arrived back at the house to find a very tired and grumpy Alex glaring at him.

“What?” Peter asked innocently.

Alex just sighed and shook his head. “Are you done? I’m off to bed.”

Peter followed him upstairs, but instead of heading to bed as well, grabbed some snacks from the kitchen and kicked back on the outdoor couch on the upstairs balcony that he’d leapt off earlier. He was feeling too wired to sleep just yet, so instead he sat and enjoyed the peace and quiet in the dark while happily munching. _What a great day!_


	4. The life of spies is to know, not be known – George Herbert

Being stuck in one place became easier for the boys with a larger space to move around in. Their first full day at their new home was spent quietly, for both were suffering from their first hang overs. Peter in particular was very quiet as he stayed mostly on the upstairs couch binge watching The Tiger King. When Alex reminded him of the large screen in the media room downstairs, Peter just groaned and muttered something about it being too big, bright and loud for him. He munched on chips and drank lots of water, vowing to never drink so much in one go again. At one point Alex heard retching noises coming from the bathroom. He decided not to investigate.

Alex, feeling lousy as well but not as bad as Peter, decided to try out the new gym in the converted 3 car garage, partly wanting to finally get some decent weight training in and partly to work out the cruddy way he was feeling. He found the circuit training programme that someone called Steve Rogers had sent to Peter and realised that every exercise listed had a corresponding machine or equipment in their gym. Peter’s friends had obviously planned this whole thing together and Alex for one was grateful. If Peter wasn’t going to use it, well Alex definitely would.

Feeling much better after he’d finished a decent work out and wanting to get out and explore their new neighbourhood, Alex went upstairs and bullied Peter into going for a walk around the streets. Peter, still not feeling very well, feebly resisted but soon gave it up as a lost cause, realising that Alex wasn’t going to take no for an answer. It was a beautiful sunny Qld day, still quite warm even though it was Autumn, and the rainbow lorikeets chirping as they flew around the trees in the street gave a surreal sense of cheerfulness to the deserted street. Cars in driveways showed that people were home, but it seemed that most people were obeying the restrictions and staying inside.

Peter shambled along, squinting in the bright sunlight and moaning about sunglasses, while Alex strode out purposefully, taking mental notes as he inspected each house they passed, familiarising himself with their surroundings. The houses were all fairly similar to their own, two storey Queenslander styles with wide eaves and large balconies to provide shade from the sometimes overbearing Australian summer heat. After they’d been to the end of the street and back, they passed their house in the middle and continued on to the other end before Alex finally took pity on Peter and allowed their feet to turn towards home.

Just before they reached their house, a long “Hellooooo!” was called out from the house next door. Standing on the 2nd storey front porch were an elderly couple, a tiny little lady with wispy white hair done up in a bun, and a slighter taller man with barely any hair at all. They were smiling and waving at Peter and Alex, who came a little closer to say hello back.

“Hello, are you our new neighbours?” the little lady asked cheerfully. Alex confirmed that they were, then introduced himself and Peter.

“Oh wonderful! I’m Mrs Jacobson, and this is my husband. We would ask you in for a cuppa, but you know, this Covid thing. It’s very scary, isn’t it. None of our children or grandchildren are coming to visit us at the moment, they all want to keep us safe. You boys look very young to be living on your own. Where are you from, you sound English?”

“I am from London ma’am, but my colleague is from New York. We got stuck here when the borders closed.” Alex told her.

We’re older than we look!” Peter chimed in. “If you ever need anything, let us know. We can go to the store for you if you need anything.”

“Oh, isn’t that kind of you, thank you dear. We’re ok for now but it’s nice to know that there are nice people nearby. Do you like our flag? We’re putting it up for the Rainbow Trail for the kiddy’s, and these teddy bears too for the Teddy Bear Hunt. I love how communities are coming together to do things like this in these scary times.” Mrs Jacobson told them, beaming as she pointed out the pillowcase that they’d painted a rainbow onto and hung over the front of their porch, and several stuffed teddy bears that had been tied to the railings on the porch.

“That’s really nice!” the boys told her, before saying their farewells and heading back inside their own home. “What on earth is a Rainbow trail and a teddy bear hunt?” Peter whispered to Alex as they left. “No idea, lets google it.” Alex whispered back, laughing. Once inside again, Peter declared that he needed a nap and disappeared into his room. Alex decided to get some use out of his new office and went downstairs to get to work.

Several hours later, Peter wandered downstairs looking for Alex, his hair tousled from his long nap. Coming to the door of the office, he stopped dead and stared in surprise.

“Umm, Alex, what are you doing?” he asked bluntly. Alex, who was busy reading something on his laptop while making notes, looked around at Peter.

“I’m umm, keeping in practise?” he replied, his words rising at the end as if unsure of his answer.

Pinned to the largest wall in the room were two rows of bundles of paper held together with bulldog clips, with a yellow post-it note stuck above each bundle. The top row had the numbers 16, 18, 20, 22, 26, 28, 30, 32 written on the post-its, and the lower row had 17, 19, 21, 23, 25, 27. There was a small gap in between the numbers 22 & 26, with a scribbled sketch of a spider and a wolf cub on it. Peter went over for a closer look and read the top sheets of paper on a few of the bundles.

_#22_

_Wallace (Wally) Richard Jacobson_

_DOB 29/01/1943 Age 77 years_

_Occupation: Retired 11 years, former English Teacher, Kelvin Grove State College, 45 years_

_Mary Elizabeth Jacobson_

_DOB 09/06/1944 Age 75 years_

_Occupation: Retired 10 years, former Registered Nurse, Brisbane Private Hospital, 40 years_

_Married 09/02/1963 (57 years)_

_Tabby cat, 14 years, name Misty_

_Children_

  1. _Douglas (Doug) DOB 09/10/1953 (56 years)_



_Divorced 9 years_

_Children_

_Matt age 16_

  1. _William (Bill) DOB 25/03/1966 (54 years)_



_Single_

  1. _Elizabeth (Liz) DOB 12/07/1971 (48 years)_



_Married Joseph Lintner 02/03/1992 (28 years) DOB 08/11/1970 (49 years)_

_Children_

_Jesse (f) age 18_

_Wally age 15_

_Lucas age 12_

_#26_

_Jeff Meineham_

_DOB 09/05/1989 Age 30_

_Occupation: Investment Banker, National Australia Bank, Brisbane City branch, 8 years_

_Helen Meineham_

_DOB 09/10/1991 Age 28_

_Occupation: Accounts Manager, BankWest, Brisbane City branch, 6 years_

_Married 10/09/2015 (5 years)_

_No children_

_Alsatian dog, 6 years, name Rex_

_Notes: Both currently working from home during lockdown._

“Alex…… are you spying on our neighbours? Are these…. profiles?” Peter asked cautiously, as he lifted the first page of #22 to see bank statements, electricity bills, credit records – _credit records?_ “How did you get all this information – and WHY?!!!”

“Ahhmm, well, I dunno, I was bored and I wanted to know what type of people are living near us? It’s mostly all public information, it wasn’t hard to find.” Alex replied, casually swivelling his chair to turn towards Peter, blocking the view of the screen behind him as he did so.

“MOST of it? I don’t think credit records are public information Alex. And the names of their pets – and their grandkids? Why do you need to know all this?” Peter asked, horrified at how casually Alex was treating this.

“I don’t, not really. But I need to improve my hacking skills and I didn’t think I should start with a bank or government service, so I just started small, and local. I am in intelligence you know, this is kind of what we do. I thought I’d get a start on learning how to profile people too. That’s all. It’s really no big deal. Mr Smithers asked me to try out some new programs he’s written and let him know if there’s any bugs, so I even have permission, sort of. I needed someone to try it on and I thought, why not get to know our neighbours at the same time? I like to know whose around me you know? I’m not doing any harm, it’s just a bit of harmless snooping.”

“Right. Only a bit of privacy invasion, just slightly breaking the 4th Amendment. Totally ok. Sure.” Peter paced the room, waving his arms around as he spoke heatedly. “And what’s that you’re trying to hide from me on your screen? You might as well show me, how much worse can it be than what you’ve already done?”

Sighing, Alex moved aside in his chair and let Peter see. Peter stared at the screen, reached over and scrolled upwards, then exhaled loudly and stepped back.

“What happened to starting small? Those are bank records Alex. You’ve hacked into our neighbours bank accounts! What is the matter with you?”

“Nothing! It’s just, all the other stuff was really easy, ok? I wanted a challenge, just to see if I could do it. I’m not going to steal their money or anything, relax!” Alex protested.

“I don’t know what to do with this Alex, it’s just not right. I need…. I don’t know. I think I’ll go out for a while.” Spinning around, Peter stalked out of the room without saying anything else to Alex, who sat there, a little stunned. He really hadn’t thought there was anything really wrong with what he was doing. It wasn’t like he intended on doing anything with the information, he was just practising his information gathering skills, and making sure there wasn’t anyone _undesirable_ living near them. Now that he’d remembered that, Alex recalled that he had felt a bit suspicious about the childness couple living on the other side of them. Two people in their 30’s, both working in the banking industry and no children? Sounded like a cover to him. Turning back to his screen, he started working his way into their banking details, ready to look for anything that seemed out of place.

Peter, who had ended up outside in the garden after he’d walked out on Alex, was angrily having a mental argument with himself in his head. _How can he do that? It’s so wrong. Those people aren’t criminals, they’re just normal everyday people, they don’t deserve to have someone poking through all their information like that._

He wandered through the vegetable garden, absentmindedly stroking various plants and sniffing what he thought might be herbs. Recognising ripe tomatoes and lettuce nearby, he decided a home grown salad for dinner would be a change from their usual freezer to oven meals, so he started looking through the garden with more purpose, picking anything he recognised as even vaguely salad-y.

_Alex is one of the good guys, he said he’s not going to do anything with their information, and I believe him. I guess it’s kind of like studying, for spies. Maybe it’s not really such a big deal. Maybe I overreacted. I’ll make dinner and then go and talk to him about it._

Back upstairs and in the kitchen, Peter was trying to remember how Aunt May made her salads. They always had some sort of sauce on them, didn’t they. Unable to remember exactly how she made them, he thought he’d surprise her and call her, he’d been a bit slack at that lately. Dialling her number on his mobile, he was surprised when it rang and rang, then went to message bank. _Where could she be? New York is in strict lockdown, and if she’d gone grocery shopping or exercising she’d take her phone with her._ Peter was starting to get worried that something had happened to her, and dialled her number again. This time it was answered after a few rings, and to his relief Peter heard Aunt May’s voice, sounding very groggy.

“Hello? Peter is that you?”

“Hi Aunt May! Yeah it’s me. How are you, why didn’t you answer your phone before – are you ok?” Peter asked in concern, trying to remember if anyone evil who knew his Spiderman identity was in New York at the moment.

“Of course I’m ok, but Peter, do you know what time it is here? It’s 4am! I didn’t answer the phone because I was asleep!” Aunt May grumbled at him. “It’s very nice to hear your voice at last but do you think you could check the time before you call next time?”

“Oh shi, I mean, oh no, I didn’t even think about that, I’m so sorry Aunt May! I was just making a salad for dinner and I can’t remember how you make the sauce for it so I thought I’d call you.”

_*silence*_

“Aunt May? Are you there?” Peter asked anxiously.

“YOU’RE making a salad? As in, actual green, living, healthy food?” Aunt May asked, clearly shocked.

“Yeah I am!” Peter announced proudly. “This new house that Mr Stark got for us has this huge vegetable garden, so I’ve picked tomatoes and lettuce and some other stuff that I’m not really sure what it is but I’ll google it. Can you tell me how to make your sauce though please?”

“That’s great Peter, really, it’s fantastic. But if you’re going to google, can’t you just google the recipe too? It’s too early, I can’t remember how to make it right now.”

“Oh, ok, yeah, that’s a good idea, I can just do that. Sorry to wake you Aunt May, I really am. But, what’s it called?”

“It’s called salad dressing Peter. Goodnight.”

“Thanks Aunt May, and good night!”

Rummaging happily around in the kitchen, Peter found some fish in the freezer and put it in the microwave to defrost. He found the ingredients listed for the salad dressing and made that, then placed all his salad ingredients on two places, fussing with them and arranging them artfully. He googled how to cook fish, and was busily frying the fillets off in a pan when he heard a voice behind him softly say “Hey Peter.”

Looking around, Peter saw Alex standing quietly on the other side of the island bench where the kitchen opens up into the living room. They locked eyes for a moment then Alex looked down and away, saying “Are we ok? Have I ruined things?”

Not even taking a moment to think about it, Peter went over to Alex and slung an arm around his shoulders, giving him a shake affectionately.

“Don’t be an idiot. Of course we’re ok. It just took me by surprise, seeing you doing all that. I’d never really thought about what spies do before but I thought about it, and I guess it’s ok – if it’s just for practise right?”

“Of course it is! I’m not going to keep that info or anything, and I would never use it for anything wrong. You can trust me on that.” Alex earnestly told him, the feeling of relief that he hadn’t blown this new friendship making his eyes shine. “Umm, should that be smoking like that?” as he pointed to the pan on the stove.

“Shit!” Peter cried, racing over and pulling it off the heat. “I made us dinner.” He told Alex, looking sadly at the fish in the pan.

“It only looks a little bit burnt, I’m sure it will be fine. The salad looks great, I didn’t know that you know how to do all this!”

“I don’t!” Peter replied proudly, “I googled it. The salad stuff is from the garden! Let’s eat.”

The pair sat at the dining table and ate Peter’s fish and salad. Alex manfully chewed his way through the dried up, burnt fish, and started on his salad as Peter told him about waking his Aunt up with his phone call. Two bites into the salad, Alex’s teeth crunched against something unexpected. _Lettuce doesn’t usually crunch, does it?_ he wondered, freezing. He placed what remained of his forkful back down on his plate and inspected it.

“Ahhh, Peter? Did you wash the salad before serving it?” Alex asked him cautiously, eyeing the small sprinkles of dirt in his lettuce.

“No, why, was I supposed to?” Peter asked with his mouth full, chewing again as a crunch caused him to pause. Alex pointed at the dirt on his salad. “Ohhhh.” They both broke out laughing and took a moment to go and wash the rest of the salad on their plates before returning to the table.

“It’s not a bad effort for your first actual real home cooked meal you know,” Alex told him encouragingly, “What’s this?” as he took the salad dressing Peter had made and cautiously tasted it.

“It’s salad dressing, to put on the salad.” Peter answered as he spooned some over his salad, followed by Alex doing the same. They each tried it and paused again with full mouths, staring at each other, neither chewing. Alex swallowed hugely and grabbed a drink, swishing it around in his mouth and swallowing it rapidly as Peter copied him.

“It’s ahh, a little oily?” Alex said, not wanting to offend Peter.

“A little oily? Dude, it’s like the Exxon Valdez in my mouth!” Peter said he had another drink. “Let’s not eat this anymore, it’s really bad. I must have gotten the measurements wrong or something.”

“I’ll eat the bits without it, they’re really good.” Alex told him, not wanting to discourage him.

“Well I’m going to chuck some of those frozen meals in the microwave, do you want one?”

“Sure, sure. It was a really good try Peter, thank you.”

As they loaded the dishwasher after eating their second dinner, Alex carefully broached a sensitive subject with Peter.

“You know the profiling I was doing earlier? Well, I found something and I wanted to talk it over with you.”

“You found something? Like what, what do you mean?” Peter asked curiously.

“Some dodgy looking payments to one of the people living in our street, a couple of doors down from us. They’ve been receiving lots of Paypal payments recently but there’s no corresponding payments made at a post office for postage or shipping, so I don’t think they’re selling and posting anything. It just doesn’t feel right to me.”

Not sure what he was getting himself into here, Peter scratched his head. “Ok, so what do you want to do about it?” as he decided to ignore the bit about Alex hacking Paypal and or bank accounts for the sake of peace between them.

Alex looked away and took a breath, not wanting to upset Peter again. “Well, I want to check them out a bit more. I’m going to get up on our roof with the camera that Smithers sent and see what I can hear through the microphone it has in it. I just wanted to let you know what I’m going to do.”

“Umm, ok. Right. So, spying on them? Actual, real life spying? That actually sounds kind of…. cool. Can I come with you?”

Laughing in relief, Alex nodded and went to get the camera. He returned upstairs and they went out onto the upstairs balcony together, Alex heading for where the side of the railing joined onto the house wall and looking up. He climbed up onto the railing and grabbed the downpipe nearby, intending to use it to climb up, when a voice said “Need a hand?” from above.

“ _Merde_!” Alex yelped, jumping backwards back onto the deck, his heart pounding. Stepping cautiously forwards again, he looked up to see Peter hanging over the edge of the roof looking down at him and grinning. Flipping himself casually forwards off the edge of the roof, Peter twisted around in mid air and swung back onto the balcony with a flick of a web.

“So, you can do it the hard way if you like, or you could try it my way?” he said with an arched eyebrow and a daring look. Alex wasn’t entirely sure about this, but didn’t want to show his reluctance to Peter.

“Sure, why not!” he replied glibly, “What do I do?”

“Just grab my arm and trust me!” Peter smiled as he lightly leapt up onto the railing and from there flipped back up onto the roof, making it look a lot easier than Alex knew he would find it. Peter anchored a web on the top of the roof and leaned back down, reaching out for Alex’s arm.

Alex, not at all sure about this, climbed up onto the railing again, then reached out and they clasped arms. “Ready?” Peter asked. Suddenly having second thoughts after seeing the glint in Peter’s eye, Alex started to say no but had no chance to get the first syllable out when he was yanked out and up, then thrown upwards in a trajectory that had him spinning from head up to head down in an extremely fast and unpleasant motion. Suddenly finding himself high above the house, heading headfirst down towards it, Alex was starting to panic when Peter appeared beside him, grabbing and flipping him right way up then guiding him down to a surprisingly soft landing on their roof, all in the space of a few seconds.

Alex wobbled upright and staggered away from Peter before suddenly sitting down heavily on the sloped roof. “Jesus Ker-rist!!! That was, omg. Omg my head is spinning. What the fuck Peter?”

Laughing quietly to himself, Peter went over and squatted next to Alex. “Sorry dude, I guess I forgot that you haven’t done that before. It will be easier next time.”

“Next time! No way, I don’t ever want to do that again. Next time I’ll just climb up thank you very much!” Alex groaned as he struggled to his feet. “Oh god the spinning. Which way is East?”

The boys carefully worked their way up to the peak of the roof, lying down on the western side with only their heads and arms showing over the peak, pointing east. Alex mused that it wasn’t really necessary to be so stealthy on their own roof, especially on such a dark night, but that it was good to keep in practise to keep their profiles low. He pointed out house number 32, which by some strange Australian street numbering system was actually only two houses away from their own number 24, and got the camera out, opening the Big Ears app on his phone. He’d brought his Air Pods along and gave one to Peter, putting the other into his own ear.

He picked up voices right away but soon realised that they were from the house directly next door, the childless banking couple. Alex still thought they were a bit sus, but it wasn’t them he was interested in at the moment, and carefully angled the camera beyond their house towards the next one along. They started to pick up snippets of conversations.

“… next pick up arriving any minute….”

“… don’t show them the whole lot this time dickhead…”

“….well you do it this time….”

“….maybe we should put the price up…”

“…what, $40 for 4 rolls isn’t enough for you? Don’t be a fool, we’ve got enough here to make thousands at this rate.”

“Quiet, they’re here.”

Peter’s eyes grew huge and he turned to Alex excitedly. “Omg you were right!! What is it? Are they selling drugs?”

“Shhh,” Alex replied as he moved quietly towards the front of the house, switching the camera to night vision mode as he went. “Let’s see what their visitors bring out.”

Once on the part of the rooftop closest to the street, Alex cursed softly.

“What?” Peter asked, “What’s wrong?”

“The street light,” Alex gestured angrily at it, “It’s lighting us up. We might be spotted.”

“Oh! I can help with that.” Peter said happily, flicking his wrist out and shooting a blob of web at the light. The thick web covered the light enough to considerably reduce the light it was emitting, earning Peter a look of approval and a nod of appreciation from Alex. “Much better, thanks. That’s a handy trick.”

Peter just rolled his eyes and snorted, thinking Alex didn’t know half of what he could do, yet.

“Here they come.” Alex muttered, hunkering down even more and focusing the camera on the people emerging from the target house. Peter watched as well, his superior night vision not needing the camera to see what the people were doing.

“Is that…” he asked in surprise.

“Yes, I’m afraid it is.” Alex said in condemnation. “Those bastards. They’re selling toilet paper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when we had to stay at home in lockdown here in Australia, people started putting rainbow flags and teddy bears at the front of their houses.  
> The idea was that families walking the local streets for exercise could go on a Teddy Bear Hunt or search for the Rainbow Trail. It was really sweet and cute and I wanted to remember some of the nice things about being stuck at home, as well as the great toilet paper shortages.


	5. It’s a blessed thing to love and feel loved in return - E.A. Bucchianeri

“Those bastards.” Peter exclaimed furiously. “How can they do that? So many people are running out or don’t have any toilet paper at all, and they have so much. _They’re SELLING it for $10 a roll_ , that’s just, oh. Oh my god. I just can’t even believe someone would do that! What are we going to do about it Alex? Should we call the police?”

Shaking his head, Alex told him “In my experience the police won’t be able to do anything about it. They are stretched too thin right now, just making sure everyone obeys the isolation restrictions, they haven’t got time to chase down petty crooks like this. We need to take care of this ourselves.”

The boys were back inside their house, Alex having chosen to climb down off the roof himself rather than accepting Peter’s rather dubious ‘help’ a second time. Alex had transferred the sound and video files from the camera onto his laptop and was busily getting the drones out of their case.

“Oooh, are we doing a proper spy mission? Can we give it a name?” Peter asked excitedly. “How about Operation TP Liberation? Or, or… Operation Free Number 2?! Hmm, the name needs some work. So, what’s the plan? What are we doing?” Alex rolled his eyes silently.

“Maybe dial back on the excitement a bit first, yeah? We’re just going to run some recon and gather more intel before we decide anything.”

“Recon, right. Gather intel. Ooooh this is fun!”

“Come on, let’s go. And try to keep it down a little, will you?” Alex ordered as he went out the back of the house and headed down through the garden, Peter following and then overtaking as his excitement took over, causing him to bounce and jump all over the place. At the small jetty leading down into the creek behind their property, Alex paused and took a deep breath.

“Peter, would you uh, would you give me a hand please? I need to get onto the other side of the creek, and I don’t want to get my laptop or the drones wet.”

Lighting up with a huge grin, Peter nodded with agreement, “Yeah, that would be bad. I’ll take it easier on you this time, I promise.” He tied the gear to Alex with a couple of web shots and then slipped under Alex’s arm, putting his own arm around Alex’s back, telling him “Hold on, here we go!” as he shot another web across the creek to the tallest gum tree there, lifted them both up then swung them across. Alex let out a sigh of relief as they landed on the other side.

“That wasn’t so bad. Thanks. Ok, let’s go.”

Using a small torch, Alex lead Peter along the side of the creek, heading east from their house until they were opposite #32. They found a spot in amongst some bushes and settled down, looking over towards their target. There wasn’t much to see, as unlike their own neat and manicured garden, this one was overgrown and full of long weeds. Garden maintenance was clearly not a priority for these people. It made seeing into the house almost impossible.

“So, what do you know about them?” Peter asked Alex quietly.

“Two white males, in their twenties, unemployed and living on government assistance. They’ve rented this place for less than a year and have had several complaints to the real estate agency and the police in that time. Mostly noise violations for loud parties, but also complaints about rubbish, illegal parking etc. They’re behind a few months in their rent, and one of them has several breaking and entering convictions recorded. The other has drug convictions. They’re not nice people Peter. You need to be careful here.” Alex replied soberly. “It’s not a game.”

“I know that Alex. I have fought against bad dudes before you know. I’ve just never been on this side of a mission, gathering intel as you called it. I’ll be careful when I need to be, but until then, this is fun!” Shaking his head, Alex just rolled his eyes again and started getting the drones out.

“Let’s have a closer look with these.”

Not having seen these drones in action before, Peter was impressed with how Smither’s program coordinated the four of them together, as Alex sent them out to surround the house, one on each side.

“Oh man, having four is sick. I’ve got one in my suit, I control it with voice controls through Karen, bit hard carrying a laptop around with me when I’m being Spiderman. I call mine Droney, have yours got names too?”

Activating the infrared command and intently watching the screen, Alex rolled his eyes again, unnoticed by Peter.

“No Peter, they do not have names. Shush now. The suspects are both in their garage but there doesn’t seem to be a vehicle in there. They’re walking around a large blank area in the middle of the room, what is that?”. Concentrating intently, Alex was distracted by Peter frantically slapping at himself as he hopped around. “ _What_ are you doing?” he hissed.

“Something’s biting me! Ow!” Peter slapped himself again.

“For God’s sake Peter, it’s just mosquito’s, just ignore them!” Alex ordered. “I’m going in for a closer look, you can come if you can be quiet and _stop hitting yourself!_ ” He recalled the drones and packed everything up, then stood and stretched.

“We need to get back onto their side of the creek. Can I get an assist again?”

Smirking, Peter obliged, swinging them both over the creek and landing lightly in a tall patch of weeds. “Comes in handy, doesn’t it!”

“It does actually, I could have used that particular skill on several of my missions. The time I was stuck hanging over a bunch of hungry crocodiles comes to mind especially.” Alex answered softly as he started carefully working his way around the side of the house with the garage on it. “Quiet now, we don’t want them to hear us.”

Peter, eyes wide and silently mouthing _crocodiles_ to himself while shaking his head in wonder, followed him quietly while reminding himself to get the rest of that story out of Alex later on.

Nearing the side of the garage, Alex was pleased to see that it had a small, thin window in the side of it, just like theirs did. It was lit up and he could hear voices inside. Using hand signals to tell Peter to stay where he was, Alex moved to the upper part of the slope and the far end of the window and peeped very slowly around the edge, putting as small a part of his face as possible into the light.

Inside, two men were standing next to a huge stack of packets and packets of toilet paper. The stack was as tall as they were and almost as wide. One man was holding a list and making notes on it while the other was tapping away on his phone.

“Oh man, they have so much!” a soft voice whispered in Alex’s ear. He jerked backwards in surprise and saw Peter clinging to the wall above the window, upside down and peeking inside. Alex glared at him silently, but Peter was oblivious to his angry stare as he continued watching the men. Having seen all he needed to see, Alex started working his way back down towards the garden and the back of the house. A moment later Peter appeared next to him, having soundlessly dropped to the ground beside the window. They were almost back at the creek bank when Peter froze, grabbing Alex’s arm.

“Did you hear that?” he whispered urgently.

“No, what?” Alex said, spinning around into a defensive Krav Maga posture.

“Something crying. Whimpering. I’ll be right back.” Peter told him, disappearing upwards into a tree.

“ _Shit_. Peter! Get back here!” Alex whispered furiously into the dark. _This is what I get for bringing civilians with me on a recon dammit_ he grumbled to himself as he stared into the black garden, lit only by one window from high above on the second storey. A flash of movement alerted him to Peter’s return, as with a soft “Let’s go!” Peter grabbed him and flung them both quickly back over the creek. Alex found his gear on the ground where he’d left it and they both took off, racing as quickly and quietly as they could back to their own property. Alex not even blinking when Peter grabbed him and swung them back over the creek yet again. He waited until they were safely back inside before turning on Peter, furiously saying “What the hell Peter? You can’t just do that; you could have blown everything!”

Peter didn’t answer. Standing with his back turned to Alex, he was pulling strands of web off his chest carefully. Alex stalked over and grabbed Peter by the shoulder, intending to shake him and give him a good talking to about his unprofessional behaviour, when Peter opened up a pouch he’d made out of webbing and attached to his chest. Eyes growing wide, Alex stared at what Peter was holding.

“Is that a . . . puppy? _Did you steal a puppy from those people Peter?_ ” he asked incredulously.

“I had to Alex! Look at it! Look at how skinny it is, and its fur is all in patches. They were keeping it in this tiny cage, all metal and no blankets or anything, there wasn’t even a water bowl in there. I had to save it!” Peter cried, looking at Alex with big eyes. “I couldn’t just leave it there, crying like that!”

Alex stared at Peter holding the puppy protectively curled up against his chest. It had a filthy coat, severely matted fur and its rib bones were clearly visible along its side. The poor thing had dull eyes and was shivering & panting at the same time, lying limply in Peter’s arms.

“Peter this might have compromised our mission. They’ll know someone was there when they find it missing.”

“I made it look like the cage was left unlatched so maybe they’ll just think it wandered off. Come on Alex, you would have done the same, wouldn’t you? _Look at it!_ ” Peter begged Alex, holding the pup and its huge eyes up next to his own pleadingly.

Feeling sorry for the poor pup, Alex conceded, “Ok. Ok. Let’s get it a drink, it’s panting.” as he looked through the kitchen cupboards for a suitable bowl. Peter placed the puppy gently down on the kitchen bench as Alex put the full water bowl in front of it and they both watched as it staggered over and started to drink.

“We should feed it too and give it a bath.” Peter said. “Is it a boy or a girl do you think?”

Alex took a quick look underneath and said “Girl. She’s a girl.” before scratching his head. “We haven’t got any dog food.”

“Maybe just some raw meat?” Peter replied, going to look in the freezer. “There’s some beef chunks here, I’ll defrost it.”

Alex, meanwhile, was filling up the kitchen sink with warm water, testing it carefully. “Get a towel would you Peter?” he asked as he gently lowered the puppy into the sink. She flattened her ears at first, unsure of the water, but Alex gently crooned to her and stroked her softly, massaging away the matted dirt and filth with his fingertips. “There’s a good girl, it’s ok, it’s nice and warm isn’t it.”

Peter appeared at his side with a towel and stared at the sink full of dirty water, “Ewww, she really was awfully dirty, wasn’t she? I think she needs a rinse and then another wash.” He took the puppy from Alex and wrapped her up in the towel as Alex emptied then refilled the sink, before placing her back into the water again. Peter washed her this time, while Alex checked the meat in the microwave and chopped it up when it had finished defrosting.

Sometime later one clean and dry puppy was contentedly eating from a small plate of finely diced beef chunks. The boys hadn’t given her much, Alex recalling that too much food after periods of starvation wasn’t good for the body and reasoning that it would be the same for a puppy. Peter was too distracted by the puppy to even ask about how Alex knew that.

“What are we going to do with her?” Alex asked Peter, lying on the couch watching the puppy.

“We need to take her to a vet tomorrow. She needs proper care. We’ll need to get some proper food for her too, and a collar. Maybe some proper dog wash, I think she’s got fleas.”

“Hold on, we can’t just keep her Peter!” Alex protested. “She’s not ours. You can’t just steal a dog and then keep it!”

“Why not? I’m definitely not giving her back to those jerks, look at how they were treating her. They don’t deserve a dog.” Peter told him. “Why can’t we keep her?”

“For starters, we don’t live here. This pandemic will end sooner or later, and then what? Are you going to make a poor dog fly on a plane back to America? Or are you going to just abandon her here?”

“I don’t know, ok? I just couldn’t leave her there. Can’t we just keep her for a little while, until she’s healthy again? We can always figure it out later.” Peter asked pleadingly.

Alex sighed in defeat. “Sure, I guess so. But she’s your responsibility Peter. You clean up after her and look after her. What breed is she anyway? I don’t recognise it.”

“I don’t know,” Peter grinned happily, “Let’s look it up.”

“You do that, I’m going to call Tom, he’s got a dog. He can tell us if we’ve forgotten anything for now.”

Tom, happy to get a call at a decent time from Alex for once, insisted on being shown the puppy on facetime.

“Ooooh, she’s so cute!!! Poor thing, you were right to rescue her Alex, she’s not in a good way is she.”

“It was Peter actually. He’s trying to work out what breed she is. I guess we need to name her as well.”

“I know, I know!” Tom grinned, “You can call her Cub!” as he chortled to himself. Alex just glared at him and sighed.

“That’s not a bad name actually” Peter chimed in, having overheard Tom’s idea.

“No. No way.” Alex put his foot down. “We are not calling her Cub.”

“Hey guys, look. She’s an Australian Blue Cattle Dog.” Peter announced, holding up his phone with images on it. “Hasn’t she got nice colours on her!”

Peter and Alex looked down at the puppy together. She had fallen asleep on the carpet, her greyish blue fur looking considerably cleaner now. Both of her ears and eyes had black patches on them, with smaller, light brown patches on each cheek. Her tail was mostly white, curled around her light brown feet. She had a star shaped white patch in the centre of her forehead as well, and all around looked thoroughly fluffy and cute.

“Right guys, she’s an Aussie dog, you need to think of an Aussie name for her.” Tom said. “Something that goes with Cub!” as he grinned at the look on Alex’s face and hung up on him.

“What is with him and this Cub thing?” Peter asked curiously.

“It’s the name they gave me when I trained with the SAS.” Alex answered. “Wolf thought it was funny, I think. You know, cos I was so much younger than the rest of them.”

Sighing, Peter just shook his head. “Another story I need to hear sometime. But for now, I’m beat. What time is it? 1.30am, jeez. Let’s go to bed. We can figure everything else out tomorrow.”

“Good idea. You should take her out into the garden first though.”

“Wha, oh right.”

Peter was woken the next morning by a wet tongue licking his face. “Eergh! Uck, yuck!” he grunted, flailing his hands out and encountering a warm bundle of fur. “Oh!” he exclaimed, his eyes popping open as he remembered the events of the night before. The puppy was sitting next to him on his bed, staring at him with her tongue lolling out, face cocked to one side. “Puppy!!” Peter scooped her up and cuddled her to his chest, cooing. “Ohhh, aren’t you just the sweetest thing!” as he headed towards the kitchen. “Let’s get you some breakfast, and some for me too!”

“I’ve already fed her and taken her out.” Alex told him from where he was sitting at the table, coffee in hand and notes spread around next to his laptop.

Smiling, Peter said “Thanks man. Whatcha doing?” as he got himself a bowl of cereal.

“Working on a plan to give those bandits what they deserve.” Alex answered, as he made another note on his list. “Are you in? Your webs would make it a whole lot easier.”

“Of course I’m in. Can we get them arrested? I’d like to report them for animal abuse but,”

“But then you’d have to admit that you stole their dog? Yeah, probably not. I’d like to stay incognito on this if that’s ok with you. ASIS knows I’m here but I don’t want anyone else to.”

Peter sighed. “Yeah, I get it. Ok, so what’s the plan?”

“First, we need to take her to a vet. Have you thought of a name yet?”

“I have actually. What do you think of Joey?” Peter asked.

“What, like the funny guy on that old tv show where they all sit around drinking coffee?” Alex said, confused, causing Peter to burst out laughing.

“No dude!! Like a baby kangaroo, you know, a joey?!”

“Oh! Oh right. Actually, that’s kind of cute. Joey! Come here Joey girl!” Alex called to the puppy, who was snuffling around the kitchen floor. She looked up at him and ran over in a bumbling, clumsy puppy way. “Hey look, she answered to it! I guess that’s her name.” he said, picking her up and cuddling her as he smiled at Peter. “Good choice, I think she likes it.”

Alex had researched and found a vet in their area, telling Peter it had the best reviews on a local community group he’d looked into. They walked there, taking turns holding Joey since they didn’t have a leash, and introduced themselves to the girl behind the counter. Apologizing for

not having an appointment, they explained that they’d found this dog and wanted to look after her and were concerned about her condition. Once she’d seen the state that Joey was in, she took them straight into a consulting room, explaining that they were quiet because they were only allowed to see emergency cases, of which this was definitely one. Following her through the door, Alex stumbled and bumped into her, apologising for his clumsiness. Peter frowned at him but said nothing, concentrating on what the girl and then the vet were doing with Joey.

They weighed her and checked her all over carefully, inserted a microchip with her name and their details on it, and administered antibiotics, worm and heart medication and vaccinations.

At one point, Alex excused himself, asking if they had a bathroom on the premises, and left the room. He was back just as the examination was finished and leaned against the bench as he listened carefully with Peter to the lengthy list of care instructions they were given. Finishing up by giving them the antibiotics, the vet told them he would waive the fees in this case, as he’d been impressed by their concern for Joey and wanted to help them.

The vet nurse also gave them directions to a nearby store that has all the food and accessories they would need and wrote them a list, smiling at them with approval at what they were doing. Her eyes lingered on them both as they left, admiring such kind and good-looking boys. They could almost be brothers, their hair and eyes so close in colouring. She wondered what their story was. 

Heading back towards home the boys stopped at the shops on the way. Joey was snuggled into a jacket in the kiddy seat of the trolley as they wandered around the store getting all the items on their list. A harness and leash, collar, tags, food and water bowls and a bed were found quickly, then the kibble suitable for a puppy and some meat as well. They also took the chance to stock up on milk and bread for themselves, some more meat, fruit and vegetables and a couple more frozen meals. Restrictions on the number of items meant they could only get a few things, so they thought they’d better get what they could while they were there. Alex saw that the toilet paper aisle was completely empty and nudged Peter, pointing it out. Seeing that, Peter remembered something and dashed off, returning with some batteries and a pair of walkie talkie radios, causing Alex to look sideways at him.

“What? I thought they might be useful, ok?” Peter muttered defensively. Alex just smiled to himself.

Home again, Joey played with her new soft teddy bear, grabbing it in her mouth and shaking it ferociously, while the boys unpacked everything and found homes for not only the food, but for everything else they’d bought for Joey too. They put her bed out in the lounge room and bowls near the kitchen bench after discussing that she was really to young and traumatised to be made to sleep down in the garden by herself.

Once everything was sorted out, Peter went over to the table where Alex had spread his notes out and looked over them.

“Right, so. What’s the plan?”

“We go in about 3am. We need enough time before dawn to move the boxes. There’s a lot of them so that will take time. We’ll use the camera mic to make sure they’re asleep first.” Alex told him.

“What if they wake up? Should we wear masks?” Peter asked seriously. “I mean, I’m sure we can both take them but we’re trying to avoid being seen, aren’t we?”

“It won’t be a problem.” Alex replied, taking two small bottles and two syringes out of his jacket pocket and placing them on the table. “I’ll use this to knock them both out. It will last long enough for us to get the job done.”

Picking up one of the bottles and reading _Ketamine_ on the label, Peter’s eyes widened. “Alex, tell me you didn’t steal this from the nice vet people? Don’t they keep this stuff locked away?”

“Well of course they keep it locked up, you can’t just let anyone go mucking around with it, you could kill someone if you don’t know what you’re doing. We needed something, and this was the easiest to get. I took it from the back of the shelf so hopefully they won’t notice for a while. The girl had the keys hanging off her belt and it was like she was just asking me to do it!” Alex said defensively.

“But do you even know how to use it? I don’t want to kill anyone!”

“I’ve had classes on it, and I’ve practised on a pig. It’s not difficult, you just need to get the dosage right and make sure you get it into a muscular area, you don’t want to break the needle tip off on a bone. I found the weight and height of both guys on their medical records. Did you know that Australia has a government database of everyone’s medical records? It’s very useful.”

Peter palmed his face with his hand. “Oh my god. MI6 taught you all this.”

“Well, no, that was at Malagosto actually. But I did use Smithers’ programs to hack their medical records.” Alex explained. Peter just huffed in resignation at his friend’s casual acceptance of his strange education.

“Ok, so here’s the plan. We’ll go in over the rooftops. Ours, next doors, then the target house. You’ll need to cover all the streetlights with webs first, while I get onto their upper balcony at the back. I’ll pick the locks and sedate them both. Then we just open their garage door and take all the cartons of toilet paper.”

“Hang on. That’s a LOT of boxes. Are we just going to walk back and forth on the street carting them back to our house? Someone will see us!”

“Yeah, that’s the bit I’m having trouble with. How else can we get it all though?” Alex scratched his head thoughtfully.

“I could just web it all together and lift it back onto the roof, then hop across back to our place.” Peter suggested.

“Can you lift that much?” Alex asked in surprise. “Just how strong are you?”

“I’m not actually sure. When a warehouse was collapsed on me, I lifted some huge slabs of concrete off, so I’m pretty sure I can lift a pallet of toilet paper boxes.”

Whistling in admiration, Alex got a thoughtful look on his face, “Well, that will certainly make this a lot easier.”

“Great. Only, what are we going to do with it all once we get it back here?” Peter wondered.

“I’ve got an idea about that too. Mr & Mrs Jacobson only have one roll left, and a lot of other people in the street don’t have much either. I want to give everyone a couple of boxes, and then find a charity for the rest.”

“That’s a great idea! Oooh, I’ve got it!” Peter cheered, tumbling onto the floor and snagging Joey into a snuggle hug. “Operation Robin Hood here we come!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay guys, I went away for Christmas. Hope you were all able to have an enjoyable time wherever you are and that you are all safe.


	6. A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of coloured ribbon - Napoleon Bonaparte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay between posting. It's been summer holidays here and life called. Will hopefully be more regular from now on. This is my favourite chapter so far. You'll see why.

During the afternoon Peter disappeared into the office while Alex completed another work out in the gym. He was going to miss having all this equipment when he went home to London, whenever that might be. Alex had to shoo Joey out of the room a few times as she kept trying to climb onto whichever piece he was working out on at the time, and he didn’t want her to get hurt. Eventually he gave up and scooped her up into a cuddle, scratching behind her ears affectionately as he wandered into the office to see what Peter was doing.

Peter had been busy, as evidenced from the desktop that was liberally covered in random bits of wiring, capacitors, circuit boards and tiny speakers. The casings from an old radio and some headphones were pushed to the back, and the walkie talkies he’d bought earlier were sitting in the middle of it all, as Peter put the cover back on one of them. He switched off a soldering iron that was smoking lightly in its holder next to him and pushed his safety goggles up onto his forehead, as he noticed Alex standing in the doorway.

“Hey Alex. Good work out?”

“Yep. We need to do something about keeping Joey out of there though, it’s not safe for her in there with all those machines and weights. What are you doing?” Alex replied curiously.

“I’ve upgraded these walkie talkies, so they work with blue tooth now. I thought we could hide one in the house and hear their conversations without having to sit on the roof with the camera or use the drones. I made an app that will automatically record any convos we hear on my phone too.”

“That’s a great idea Peter! I didn’t know you could do all this.”

“Oh yeah, I’ve always loved tinkering around with electronics and stuff. I didn’t have much to work with here, but it’ll do in a pinch. I took the speaker out of this one so it won’t accidentally make any sounds and give us away.” Peter told him, pointing to one of the walkie talkies.

“You’d love Smithers, he does gadget stuff too.” Alex told him, smiling. “Let’s get some dinner. I thought I’d play some Call of Duty again afterwards, until it’s time to go. Want to join me?”

“Actually, I’d like to have a go at cooking dinner again, why don’t you go and play it now and I’ll see what I can come up with? I’ll let you know when it’s ready.” Peter suggested, getting to his feet.

Heading into the games room, Alex realised it had been a few days since he’d had time to play. He wondered if that other gamer was still around as he logged onto both CoD and Discord and sure enough, he’d barely started to play when a message popped up.

**ZeroDeaths:** Thought I’d seen the last of you rookie

 **RyderBoiZ2:** Had better things to do than play with some old pervert

 **ZeroDeaths:** . . . .

 **RyderBoiZ2:** oooh did I hurt diddums widdle feelings? Hit a bit too close to home?

 **ZeroDeaths:** . . . .

 **RyderBoiZ2:** Ahh, jesus, do you have to kill me every damn time?

 **ZeroDeaths:** Do better next time rookie

Alex started another mission and resolved to ignore the message box, focusing instead of slaughtering his opponents. Try as he might though, he never got close to ZeroDeaths, the guy was just too good, and seemed to know Alex’s every move before he even made it. It was so damned frustrating! After playing a few more rounds with the same result every time, Alex decided dinner must be getting close. He’d been smelling delicious smells wafting down the stairs for some time now, and his stomach was growling in anticipation.

In the kitchen, Peter was plating up steak, mashed potato and steamed greens. He’d found a YouTube channel specialising in teaching kids who’d moved out of home how to cook, and followed the video exactly, even making a creamy garlic gravy. Alex appeared at exactly the right time and stared in admiration.

“This smells amazing!! Wow, looks great too!”

Peter grinned and told him about the video tutorial as they sat down to eat.

“Mmmm, this tastes great Peter! Well done.” Alex moaned in delight, absentmindedly giving Joey a tiny piece of steak as she scrabbled at his leg under the table.

Both plates were cleared in record time and Alex looked hopefully towards the kitchen in search of seconds.

“What, was that not enough for you?” Peter asked teasingly.

“I’m not the one who had two pieces of steak!” Alex protested, feeling like he missed out. “That was great, I’d love some more.”

“Sorry bro, I have _needs_ ya know! There’s no more meat, but there’s more mash if you want it. We’ve got a frozen cheesecake you can have for dessert to if you really need more.” Peter replied without a flicker of guilt.

“Is there anymore of that sauce? That was amazing. So much better than your last attempt.”

After dinner (and seconds), Alex decided he’d better do his share and tidy up the kitchen. _It looks like a bomb has gone off in here!_ he thought to himself, eyeing off the many dirty pots, pans and dishes. _Good thing we have a dishwasher._

Peter was feeling excited and jittery about their upcoming mission and decided to take Joey out for a walk to take his mind off it. Alex was feeling antsy about ZeroDeaths and headed back downstairs to have it out with him again. Logging onto CoD again, he waited, but the message box didn’t open. He played through a session, killing all of his opponents easily, almost absentmindedly. During his second session, he saw that ZeroDeaths was back online, but he wasn’t talking to Alex. Finally, Alex couldn’t take it anymore, and sent ZeroDeaths a message himself.

**RyderBoiZ2:** Hey. I didn’t mean it you know. The pervert thing

He waited anxiously for a reply, holding his breath. Finally, one came.

**ZeroDeaths:** It is of no consequence mah-lysh

 **RyderBoiZ2:** You speak Russian?

 **ZeroDeaths:** Da

 **RyderBoiZ2:** Can I practise with you? I’m learning it

 **ZeroDeaths:** v drugoy raz, mozhet byt’ _(Another time, maybe)_

Alex stared at the words on the screen, eyes wide. No. Surely not.

**RyderBoiZ2:** . . . .

 **RyderBoiZ2:** . . . .

 **RyderBoiZ2:** . . . . _Yassen?_

 **ZeroDeaths:** Hello little Alex 😉

Alex sat back in his chair in shock, staring at the screen. ZeroDeaths was Yassen? _Yassen_ was ZeroDeaths! Suddenly it all made sense.

**RyderBoiZ2:** Yassen?! How did you find me? 

**ZeroDeaths:** Your username is not exactly subtle 

**RyderBoiZ2:** Give me a break, I was 12 when I made it

**RyderBoiZ2:** Hang on, WHY did you find me?

**ZeroDeaths:** I thought I would keep an eye on you. Stuck over there with no adults to look after you. Who knows what sort of trouble you’ll get yourself into.

**RyderBoiZ2:** . . . .

**RyderBoiZ2:** . . . .

**RyderBoiZ2:** I can look after myself thank you very much! 

**ZeroDeaths:** And is hacking government databases part of you looking after yourself? 

Alex stared at the screen, speechless. 

**ZeroDeaths:** Shall we switch to a voice call and discuss this further? 

Now Alex felt like he was being called into the head masters office at school. How can a chat message convey an ominous tone so perfectly? A friend request popped up and with somewhat nervous movements he clicked Accept, jumping a little when the call tone of an incoming call immediately sounded in his headphones. He adjusted his microphone and hesitantly answered the call. 

**Alex:** Huh-hello?

**Yassen:** _Hello Alex._ _How do you occupy yourself in isolation?_ _Are you continuing your training? This hacking you were doing, is that for training?_

**Alex:** Ye-es? I mean, sort of. The physical stuff is hard. We’re supposed to stay inside all the time. I use the gym, but spy stuff, I just can’t do any. 

**Yassen:** _In Russian please. You said you wanted to practise._ _Why don’t you practise on your new friend. I hear he has spider senses._

**Alex:** _How did you – of course you know._

**Yassen:** _I would prefer if you did not mention this to him. He has . . . undesirable friends_

**Alex:** *laughs* _Yeah, telling the Avengers that I’m friends with an internationally hunted assassin would go down really well._

**Yassen:** *snorts* _Exactly_

They continued their conversation as they began to play Call of Duty again, this time together instead of against each other. Yassen started teaching Alex his game play techniques and strategy, and before long they had annihilated the opposition completely. Several times Yassen pointed out the differences or similarities to combat in real life, and coached Alex in real life strategy as well. Their conversations continued in Russian, Yassen correcting Alex when he mispronounced a word or used a phrase incorrectly, slipping back into his role as teacher from their time together at Malagosto. **Alex:** _Why are you so good at this game Yassen?_

 **Yassen:** _Many times missions require time spent idle. Playing keeps the mind alert when the body must stay still._ _Besides, I like it._

Yassen went on to suggest that Alex practise his stealth skills on Peter. He thought it would be interesting to see if Peter’s spider senses would alert him to Alex.

**Alex:** _What are you talking about, what spider senses?_

 **Yassen** **:** _I believe he calls it his Peter-tingle. It alerts him to danger before it happens. It would be a good challenge for you to see if you can sneak up on him without him noticing._

 **Alex:** _He’s my friend Yassen, I can’t just use him like that._

 **Yassen:** _Of course you can. It is harmless, a prank, and you need the practise._

Finally the time came when Alex had to get ready for their real life mission. He’d enjoyed talking to Yassen, it had helped with the home sickness he’d been feeling on and off. What a strange thing he mused, to feel comfort from an assassin. He decided not to mention what they were about to do to Yassen though. He’d had enough of being lectured for one night. 

Alex went looking for Peter and made sure they were both wearing a mix of grey and black clothing, with hats to obscure their faces as much as possible. He put the syringes, already loaded with the correct dosages for each guy, into a back pack and added some thin cord and duct tape, just in case.

On the back balcony Alex frowned at Peter when he reached down from the roof top for him, causing Peter to smirk at him. Peter did however, take it more gently with Alex this time, just pulling him up onto the roof rather than throwing and flipping him like the last time.

Peter went for a quick swing up and down the street, covering the lights on all nearby street lights. He flipped back onto their roof next to Alex and muttered that he hated the suburbs. Alex didn’t quite hear it all but something about no high buildings nearby.

They stood on the edge of their roof and looked across to the next one over. Peter turned to Alex and said “I can throw you, or I can catch you. Which do you prefer?”

“I think if you catch me it will be quieter,” Alex replied. “if you throw me from here I’ll land too loudly.”

And so it was. Peter easily leapt the distance and landed lightly, turning to catch Alex softly on his turn. They moved quietly across the roof top and repeated the move onto the next house as well. Peter then lowered Alex onto its back balcony, jumping lightly down after him.

It took Alex only a few moments to pick the door lock with his lock picks and they were in. Alex was calm but Peter felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest with excitement. This felt so _naughty_ , yet fun at the same time.

Peter paused by the dining table and quickly webbed his walkie talkie device to the underside of it while Alex headed for the first bedroom, which was faintly lit by the moon outside. Alex went straight over and stood above the man sleeping on the bed, and without hesitating plunged the syringe into his arse cheek, and that was when things started to go wrong.

Instead of passing straight from sleep into unconsciousness, the man woke up, twisting and opening his mouth when he saw Alex standing over him. Alex jumped forward and slapped his hand over the man’s mouth, trying to hold him down on the bed. The man however, was more than twice Alex’s weight, and easily threw him off, roaring “Hey!” in anger as he started to get up off the bed, glaring at Alex. Peter raced in and leapt up to hit the guy in his chest with his full body weight, slapping a web over his mouth as he did and knocking him back down onto the bed. Alex jumped onto the man as well, and together they held him in place as he struggled frantically. His motions started to weaken and finally, after what felt like hours, he passed out.

“Nighty-night.” Alex growled into the unconscious face below him.

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite!” added Peter.

They climbed off him, Peter removing the webbing over his mouth as he did so, and stood next to him, listening.

“Do you think the other guy heard that?” Peter whispered. “What happened? I thought it was going to knock him out right away?”

“I forgot that Ketamine takes time to work,” Alex whispered back, annoyed with himself. “Sorry about that. There’s no sound from the other room, maybe we got lucky.”

Moving to the other bedroom, they saw that they had indeed, gotten lucky. From the strength of the alcoholic fumes wafting from the second guy, a bomb going off probably wouldn’t have woken him. Alex injected him as well, both of them holding him down this time around. It went better, and he passed out with less fuss and faster than the first guy, probably helped by the amount of alcohol in his system.

“Come on, let’s get this done. That took longer than I thought and I’m not sure when the first guy will wake up.” Alex said, heading downstairs to open the garage door up from inside. Peter followed and started webbing the entire stack of toilet paper packets together, continuing until they were completely covered in web, then dragging the stack out onto the driveway, making a slight scuffling noise as he did so. Alex stepped inside to close the garage door before quickly ducking back under it and outside again. He keep watch over the street for passers-by while Peter flung out a web and pulled himself back up onto the roof, before lifting the stack of toilet paper and pulling it up after himself.

Crossing the street to keep a better eye on things, Alex was impressed by how easily Peter lifted the pallet sized stack and carried it over the roof. He followed Peter’s progress as he jumped across to the middle house, carrying the stack as he went. Alex didn’t notice a small face in the window of the house behind him, staring wide eyed at the shadowy figure jumping from house to house on the other side the road. When Peter landed back on their own roof, Alex crossed back over and went through their side gate, arriving at their lower back deck just as Peter lowered the stack down onto it from above.

“We did it!” Peter crowed, high fiving Alex enthusiastically. “That was awesome!”

Alex grinned back at him. “Come on, lets get it inside, it’s be dawn soon.”

They ended up putting all the packets on the pool table that they still hadn’t used.

“Let’s just leave it there for now. We’ll deliver it to everyone when it’s dark again tonight.” Alex told Peter.

“Good idea. I want to pop back over and quickly check on those guys, make sure they’re ok. I’ll be back in a minute.” Peter answered, flipping a web up to the roof and vanishing suddenly. It wasn’t long before he was back, reporting that they were both either asleep or unconscious still, both breathing normally.

After getting changed into more comfortable clothes, they ended up sitting together on the outdoor couch up on the upper balcony, watching the sky lighten as dawn approached. Both boys were wired from their adventure, neither ready for bed yet.

Peter sighed suddenly, looking melancholy.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked him. “That was great. We make a good team.”

“I know. It’s just, I was thinking about how proud Uncle Ben would be, and it made me sad.” Peter replied softly.

“It’s ok to feel homesick Peter, this is a strange thing we’re living in right now, but it won’t last forever. You’ll be back with your family again one day.”

“No, I won’t Alex. Uncle Ben is dead. He and Aunt May basically raised me, and I failed him. He died because of me.” Peter whispered the last part, choking up as the familiar guilt washed over him.

Alex turned to face the sad boy sitting next to him. “You had an uncle who raised you, who died?” he asked incredulously.

“Ye-es?” Peter stammered uncertainly, looking back at Alex.

“ _I did too._ ” Alex breathed out quietly. They stared at each other, thunderstruck.

“I was 15 when Uncle Ben died. It was the worst time of my life, you know?” Peter told Alex hesitantly.

“I do know. I was 14 when Uncle Ian died. Suddenly everything was different, and awful.” Alex answered, his heart clenching as he remembered that terrible time. He couldn’t believe how similar their experiences were.

“I still had Aunt May, but she’d lost Uncle Ben too. He, he was like my Dad. After my parents died when I was little, they raised me as their son. He taught me everything I know about being good, and doing the right thing.” Peter smiled a little as he remembered.

“I had Jack. My parents died when I was a baby, and Uncle Ian raised me. He trained me all my life in all these different fighting techniques, and skills I’d need to be a spy. He never told me that though, or about my parents.” Alex still had mixed feelings about how Ian had raised him, and about what had happened after Ian had died.

“Wait, your parents died when you were a baby too? And why did your Uncle do that, why did he teach you all that stuff?” Peter asked.

“I don’t know for sure why he did it, he died before he could ever tell me. But, he was in MI6 like my Dad was, so I think he wanted me to follow in their footsteps. Maybe even find out who killed my parents. They died in a plane crash when I was a baby, but it wasn’t an accident, they were assassinated.”

“Alex . . .” Peter breathed softly. “MY parents died in a plane crash when I was little too. They were killed because they were CIA agents working for S.H.I.E.L.D. Your Dad was in MI6, and your Uncle too? My god it’s like we’ve had the same life.”

“That’s insane. How can we have so many things in common like that? Wow.” Alex was stunned.

He’d been feeling so alone for so long, ever since Ian had died and he’d been thrown into this crazy new world of spies, assassins and homicidal megalomaniacs. He never felt like anyone really understood him. Not Jack, whom he loved but kept things from to protect her, not his best friend Tom, who he talked to more about _some_ of the things that he’d been through, but not all. Certainly not Mrs Jones or Alan Blunt, who only wanted to use him for his skills and age. And now, sitting next to him in Australia during a world wide pandemic of all places, he finds someone with so many similar life experiences that it’s just . . . eerie. The hairs on Alex’s arms actually raised up and a shiver went down his back. It wasn’t unpleasant, exactly, just . . . strange. Alex wasn’t really sure at all what to do with all the emotions running through him right now.

He looked at Peter and found him staring back, his eyes large and blinking with unshed tears. It felt to Alex like Peter knew every thought that was racing through his mind, and more than that – like he _understood_. Understood the loss, the heartache, the loneliness – and the fear that it would always be that way. Alex felt tears forming in his own eyes and took a shaky breath, which turned into a gasp as Peter suddenly lunged forward and grabbed him in a hug. Freezing momentarily – when was the last time he’d been hugged by someone? – Alex relaxed into it and hugged Peter back. No words were needed as they each gave the other something they’d both been missing for a long, long time – complete and utter acceptance and understanding.

Dawn rose over a new day, gently lighting the horizon then growing stronger as the sun rose higher up. Rays of light played softly over the peaceful faces of the two boys, asleep next to each other on the outdoor couch, unruly brown curls mixed in with straighter blond locks as their heads and shoulders lay against each other comfortingly. The pair slept on, exhausted from the antics of Operation Robin Hood and from the emotional outpouring that had unexpectedly followed.

Joey wandered out to the balcony looking for them as she awoke from her peaceful nights sleep. Unable to get out, she peed in the corner, then jumped onto the couch, nestled in between both Peter and Alex and contentedly went back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the chapter title quote doesn’t quite match the events of this chapter but it tweaked my fancy after all the craziness around toilet paper hoarding at the start of the pandemic. Here in Qld in January 2021 we’ve just had the exact same thing happen again because of a 3 day lockdown in Brisbane. It’s crazy. So the title is more about that really.
> 
> The conversations in italics between Alex and Yassen are in Russian.  
> Also I’m pretty sure in canon Alex was never actually at Malagosto with Yassen. In my head canon they were because really, they should have been. 
> 
> I'm also still having trouble with the line spacing and it's driving me crazy. Any suggestions appreciated. I type in Word and use Rich Text when I add a chapter.


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